Guys regularly ask me something along the lines of:
In most cases, the reasons they give me for not taking action are something outside themselves, like:
- I live with my parents and there’s some conflict between that and getting girls home.
- I’m waiting to move to a new town in 4 months, then I’ll use The Core of Attraction.
- I’ve tried everything. Maybe I’m just not destined… (you know how this huge BS goes on.)
While some of those reasons seem, well, reasonable, they hide a huge trap.
First, there’s a difference between an excuse and a reason.
A reason is actually choosing not to pursue self-improvement in the attraction area because you are really committed to some other goal. A goal that takes your focused attention. On the contrary, an excuse is a rationalization. A mental trap that keeps you from doing the right thing because you are afraid.
But let’s say you examine your situation and decide yours is not an excuse. It’s a solid reason. You ask a friend. He agrees. You’re convinced.
Well… the huge trap is still there.
In other words:
Even though you don’t realize it yet, you are giving your power away to circumstances. You have the power to control your life and your destiny. (By the way, this is not just a dating-love-sex thing.) And this is not a feel-good catchphrase —let’s see why.
The difference between a person who gives his power away and a person who keeps his power into himself is choice.
You choose to overpower circumstances or let them overpower you.
Take the examples above:
- Don’t you think he can find a girlfriend who has a place? Don’t you think he could playfully sneak his date home? Don’t you think he could ask a friend for a place? Don’t you think he could go on a trip close to hometown with his date?
- Doesn’t he realize if there is deep love and connection, distance won’t be a problem? Doesn’t he realize if one isn’t really that much into the other, then one can only be thankful for those 4 months, move on and find a better partner?
- Doesn’t he realize he hasn’t tried enough because knowledge is virtually infinite? (But actually I can tell you he really hasn’t tried shit.) Doesn’t he realize if there’s one human who has achieved X, then he can too?
These examples themselves are not important.
My point is, if You choose to withhold your power, then all those problems are irrelevant.
They’re big fat BS. They’re nonsense. They’re not even obstacles. They’re just things you have to do to achieve your goal. Just like you have to go to the store to buy groceries.
I know this flawed mindset very well. I was limited by thoughts like the second example while in college. I can tell you it sucks. Please don’t do that.
I’ve been recently studying some concepts that can revolutionize your life. I’m still learning and experimenting. I’ll share these with you when I feel I have a more solid experience (results so far are quite amazing.) But for now I’ll give you practical insight into how to change your circumstances to attract women.
How to Change Your Circumstances to Attract Women
In my last post I showed how to create an environment of intimacy abundance with girls you like. Even if you really like one particular girl, I highly recommend this process because it gives you skill, makes you more social, and more capable or giving and receiving love.
But many guys’ questions have this component of “I live with my parents”, “I’m not good at talking to people”, etc.
Or in last post’s words: “I’m surrounded by zero intimacy“.
So how to go from zero intimacy to intimacy abundance?
I’m going to share with you the process I teach in my Premium Posts to change this situation very quickly.
A few years back I desperately wanted to know how to attract girls. I was studying in France. That shows you that determination is way more powerful than BS excuses like “I’m not comfortable in a foreign language.” Even though I had been more social some years ago, I had become such an introvert at the time.
I thought: I’m going to socialize with 10 strangers every day for a month. It was a flimsy undetermined goal to “be more social.” It’s way better to be concise. But it made sense to me. Plus the process part (10/day) was precise, which is most important. I started with a very simple task: “write down the color of the eyes of 10 people I talk to.” And raise the challenge from there. I kept a simple log every day. I thought that it would take me one to three months to regain confidence to talk to strangers naturally, but something amazing happened.
On that same first day, I was able to raise the challenge. It was so easy. I only had to talk with 3 strangers. I already knew the other 7 people. So the second day I raised the challenge to only strangers. I had to ask something simple like: “where’s the produce aisle?” Then I quickly raised the challenge to randomly start chitchat with strangers after that first question. Then to directly open with chitchat.
Then only women.
Then only girls I found attractive.
And so on…
The process was so quick that it only took me two weeks and 167 interactions to be comfortable opening groups of attractive women.
I’m not saying I was 100% comfortable in just two weeks. But I went from total introvert to withdrawing that power and control back into myself.
Let’s assume you are at zero intimacy with most girls you like. Or just that your day-to-day has no attractive women (e.g. a little village.) If you feel your social skills and intimacy environment is greater than this, apply the process to your particular situation.
So ask yourself: where am I? and what do I want?
Then break down your goal into smaller steps as I did in the example above. Even though it sounds complex, it ends up saving way more time. Plus it gamifies the challenge.
Those steps are something for you to choose. You can improvise as you go too. As I teach in my Premium Posts, a good example would be what I said above:
- Log the eye color of 10 people I talk to.
- Log the eye color of 10 strangers I talk to.
- Start short chitchat with 10 people after the first question.
- Ask a question to 10 people in a group of two or more.
- Open 10 people directly with chitchat.
- Open 10 people in a group of two or more directly with chitchat.
- Then 10 women.
- Then 10 attractive women.
- Then 10 attractive women in a group of two or more.
You can add or change steps before, after or in between. It’s not that important to fix a date like “for the next 30 days” unless that is beneficial to you. As you see, I started with a longer goal but felt huge improvement after just two weeks.
The most important factor is being constant. Sometimes I was happy to raise the challenge after one day, but I was equally happy to repeat the challenge for three days because I didn’t feel as comfortable with some task. I went out on cold Paris evenings to talk to strangers in a foreign language.
From day 0, the moment you choose to have the power to change anything, motivation floods in because obstacles no longer matter. Your goal is only away in time, not in possibility.
If you were just interested in how to attract girls and never thought of this, I hope you see by know why it is extremely important to your growth as an attractive man.
So, what excuses or even reasons do you choose to destroy now? How amazingly powerful are you feeling?
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