Do you ever talk to girls who say something but you think she means something else? Do you wonder why would she say that when you did everything right with her? Like if something is missing in her communication. Right?
With this post I’ll teach you to get inside her mind so you can always know what her words really mean. That way you’ll always respond with the correct thing to do. I’ll include examples for each case.
I laugh every time I heard something along the lines of “it’s impossible to understand women, they don’t even understand themselves.” That’s absurd. That’s like saying: “it’s impossible to grow a lemon tree. In my family of apple-tree experts we never grew a lemon tree.” Well… it’s not my problem that you don’t have the right knowledge!
Do you want to be part of the people who understand women? Check this post to finish with all your communication problems right away:
Many guys ask me about this over and over. And I’ve experienced it first hand.
For example, imagine your girlfriend or just your crush, telling you that you don’t pay enough attention to her. Then you start paying attention to her, and funnily enough, she becomes disinterested in you.
Or what about your crush telling you that you are just a really good friend for her. “It’s best if we just stay best friends.” I received that stab wound once.
What about the hot girl who tells you that she doesn’t believe in love anymore… Or the one who tells you that she doesn’t want a man now, that she wants to clear her mind and focus on her career.
And the girl who tells you that she doesn’t want you to kiss her, yet stands right there in front of you with puppy face.
There are many more weird behaviors that, when understood under the light of The Core of Attraction, are crystal clear.
Girls being stupid or disrespectful. Girls demanding one thing to then keep being mad. Girls pushing the boundaries of relationship.
So before going any further, I assume you have read and understood how The Three Behaviors work to attract girls and keep them. If you don’t know what are the behaviors 1, 2 and 3 and how you must show them, please read about it first.
How to Translate Her!
Alright, so you have a basic understanding of The Core of Attraction. Let’s review The Three Behaviors that make girls attracted to you:
- Confidence as having a life with purpose and willingness to let the girl go if she’s disrespectful.
- Protection IF (only IF) she’s respectful to you.
- Making her feel sexually desired.
So, here’s the insight:
For example, if she says “you don’t love me enough” what could that mean? If you review your relationship with her and you never protect her, take care of her, show interest in her life, etc. she’s literally saying that you need to correct that. You weren’t showing enough behavior 2.
However, if she says “you don’t love me enough” but that’s actually ALL you do, what she’s communicating is that you’re showing too much behavior 2. You agreed to do crazy things at her will. She starts seeing you like a pussy that she can manipulate. The opposite of an attractive confident guy with a life. What you need to do in this case is to actually follow behavior 2 to-the-letter, and create distance IF she’s disrespectful.
See how f*cking easy it is to translate her?!
We’ll see the most common scenarios. First, let me highlight one thing:
Remember that fear and need make you show not enough or too much, too soon of The Three Behaviors. That is what causes an imbalance that she wants you to correct.
➔ Do you know how hard is for her to find a great man that actually understands her and gives her what she needs emotionally?!
By adjusting to The Three Behaviors you’re showing amazing social intelligence. Be grateful that you have the opportunity to like her and just change that! You’ll see how well she reacts.
6 Common Translations of Woman into Plain English
Let’s review six examples for you to get the feel of it and translate your own interactions. The Core of Attraction is based on Three Behaviors. So three examples will be for not showing enough of each behavior, and three for showing too much, too soon of each behavior.
1. Not Being Confident Enough (Behavior 1-)
Let’s start by reviewing one of the most common problems. I also suffered from it (too much) for some time. This is the diagnosis of the overthinksheep.
Considering the definition of Behavior 1: “Confidence as having a life with purpose and willingness to let the girl go if she’s disrespectful.” How can we default on this behavior? By:
- Not taking action when we should.
- Not having strong values or beliefs.
- Changing our beliefs when we think they’re contrary to what others (including the girl we like) think.
- Not having an interesting life where every minute is valuable (to us, regardless of what the girl thinks) .
- Changing our plans just to fit the girl’s plans.
- Paying her special attention while she’s disrespectful to us, our time, our beliefs, etc.
The message we receive from the girl in this case is just disinterest.
Confidence is the king trait that attract girls. So if you lack confidence, she will just have not much interest in you.
She will respond to you and all. But you’ll clearly see how she doesn’t give a crap like she does with other guys. You’ll find yourself always claiming her attention for her to talk to you.
The solution/answer: correct the problems above and you’ll see how she becomes more interested in you almost magically.
2. Coming Across as an Arrogant Jerk (Behavior 1+)
You may think, OK since confidence is king, I’ll be the most confident guy even if that means being an arrogant jerk.
The problem with that is double:
- Exaggerating confidence, being a disrespectful or condescending jerk is a sign of insecure guys trying to cover it up. Girls’ super-social brains detect that a light-years away.
- Being too arrogant can be attractive sometimes, but only if you’re sociable and leave a door open for her to join your awesomeness. If you’re “too good for everyone” she won’t want to join you in your ivory tower.
The typical way girls tell us we’re doing this is by fighting our comments.
We tell a joke, or say an intelligent comment (or anything really, if that’s your regular attitude) and girls try to debate us. Then you reply back with arguments why you’re right and she’s not. They get more mad and debate harder.
This becomes an battle of ego and value. You and her try to win over each other.
It doesn’t matter who’s right. You’ll be able to make your point once she’s your girlfriend. Now you have to look at it as an emotional conflict that you can solve (with emotional intelligence that she will admire).
The solution/answer: tone down your attitude and non-verbal language. Don’t be aggressive. Even if you’re already fired up, change it altogether (she’ll thank you). Tell her to explain you her position because you want to learn and maybe you’re wrong (even though you’re pretty sure you’re not.) If there’s some truth in her words, use: “you’re very right in that… but also [make your point].”
By doing this, not only you will reach the confidence sweetspot that she’s attracted to. You’ll also disarm her attitude and you’ll be able to make your point!
3. Not Really Caring About Her (Behavior 2-)
If you’re not dating her and she says things like “I don’t believe in love anymore…” or “I can’t trust men” or “I’ll never have a boyfriend because…” Stuff like that, what she’s really saying is: “tell me you’re different than the jerks I’ve dated before.”
What most guys do in this situation is to try and prove they’re not jerks by being OVERLY protective and caring even IF she’s disrespectful. That solution is as bad as the problem (see next point.)
But if you’re dating her, she is loving, sexual and respectful, yet she says that and you really didn’t protect her, then she’s saying that literally.
The solution/answer: what you must do is not to say something like “I’ll prove it to you we’re not”. Instead, just focus on showing the right amount of Behavior 2 protection as you level up! She’ll stop saying those things as she sees how you are.
4. Being Too Protective When She Doesn’t Deserve It (Behavior 2+)
When she asks you to do crazy things. More and more. Ridiculous nonsense like:
- you don’t hang with me enough (when that’s all you do)
- your friends suck up too much time (when you don’t see them anymore)
- you don’t do enough nice things for me (when that’s your main focus)
- any other clearly illogical BS…
What she’s doing is trying to test your confidence. Her point of view is: “this man does crazy things even at expense of his own value, time, money… If I share my life with him I will be at risk too.” You can’t argue that with words, she may not even phrase it like that. It’s just for you to understand the behavior she instinctively seeks that you must show, not debate.
Remember. Behavior 2 is: “Protection IF (only IF) she’s respectful to you.“
She deeply wants you to be a man who doesn’t eat her BS. Her biology makes her feel that if you eat her BS, you’ll eat anyone’s BS too.
The solution/answer: STOP doing all those crazy things. Take control of your life, and really only reward her with your protection if she’s a good respectful girl. And do it proportionally to your level of intimacy (don’t buy her a car after your first kiss).
5. Being Friendzoned for Not Being Sexual Enough (Behavior 3-)
“It’s best if we can stay just friends.” Ugh! It huts just to read it.
Whether she says that or not (because you didn’t even try to date her), she has a great time with you without being sexually interested. Meanwhile, she’s soaking her panties for that other jerk she only talks to twice a month.
The solution/answer: spice up your interaction with sexual statements and real attempts to make her feel sexually desired (by you).
First. Don’t shy away from sexually charged moments. Don’t shy away from those deep stares. Don’t shy away from joining at sexual talks even if you’re still a virgin.
Second. TRY. Tell her she’s hot in that dress. Tell her she’s gorgeous and would love to kiss her for two hours straight. Tell her her ass is amazing in those pants. Kiss her when she’s ready. Take sexual action when you should!
Pro tip: if you make a sexually charged comment, change the topic right away to alleviate the tension. Making her feel sexually desired is just to clearly state your thoughts. You can’t shy away from it, but also don’t have to push it.
6. Being Too Sexual Too Soon (Behavior 3+)
“You’re a pig” and similar things are the diagnosis of this error. When you’re too sexual too soon (e.g. you haven’t showed any of the other behaviors) she sees you as a lower life form that only wants sex and then dump her.
Even if you only really want her for sex, she isn’t attracted to that (unless she’s drunk).
The solution/answer: you have to balance all three behaviors. Make sexual statements to make her feel desired but as part of your normal conversations, when you really feel them.
For example if you’re talking to her about work and she looks stunning that day, tell her!
We’ve seen the main errors when applying The Three Behaviors, and how girls tell you in her language. She actually wants you to attract her! And the solution is very simple.
So, what were your doubts up until now? What are you going to change?