Are you a man, still a virgin in college, and don’t know what to do about it? When I started college, especially the first few years, I was (of course, a kissless virgin, but also) an introvert who felt incapable of having normal relationships with girls I liked.
When it was time to go out with friends, meet new people and expand my social circle, I almost always looked for excuses. Or decided to just hang out with friends that had some other geekier plan.
I looked at the life others had, they seemed to have a blast. Partying, kissing, getting to X base, telling sex stories…
I didn’t envy them, because that life was so alien that I didn’t even know how to start improving my social skills so I could have a nice girlfriend, have sex, have the best time with my friends, be relaxed, and charge my batteries to get the best grades.
Luckily now I can give you the answer to stop being a virgin in college.
What most people tell you
“Being a virgin in college is not a bad thing, it’s normal!” “Wait, you have plenty of time to worry about it!” “Don’t search for a girl, and she will appear!” (like she will appear out of magic).
The truth is, she won’t appear out of magic. The truth is, being a virgin in college sucks. The sad truth is that the more you wait, the more you create a social disconnect.
In other words, the chance of getting a girl that you really like get further and further away.
You start avoiding social venues. Why? Because in the back of your mind you have the “she will come!” belief. Beliefs are the true dictators of your actions. And that is a sucky one. You start becoming more of an introvert. You start hanging out with other loser friends.
People also tell you that you should focus on studying hard. That’s why you are in college, right?
That’s like saying: you shouldn’t come back home for Christmas and you shouldn’t spend too much time eating and going to the bathroom, because you have to study.
Having a girlfriend not only will get you rid of the emotional weight and inner conflict of being a virgin in college.
You’ll be happier. A good girlfriend will make your life balanced. Plus, you’ll be able to really focus on your studies.
If you don’t find that really good girlfriend tomorrow, no problem. But you need to have the tools to meet girls, get her and keep her! That’ll give you true emotional relief that you’ll get one.
Being a virgin in college vs. having a girlfriend
I’ve both not had and had a girlfriend in college. I got her finally, in my last years. The change was amazing.
It’s not the fact of having the girl of your dreams. If she’s it, great! But it’s the fact of having your love life under control.
When I was a still a virgin in college, I couldn’t focus. That’s when I started my research on PUA books, dating advice, trying to force my way out of my comfort zone… The result?
I’m a pretty smart guy yet my grades were crap. I was socially awkward. I was reading instead of going out and having a blast with my friends. And above all: too much time lost. Time that I’m hoping to save you now.
Will having a girlfriend rob you of your study time?
Assuming you follow The Three Behaviors so you don’t take shit from her, not at all. I had friends with girlfriends at that time. Some of them got amazing grades, others didn’t.
Will you spend time with her? Yes.
But it will be quality time that will boost your productivity and focus. Keep in mind that if you have a balanced life and only focus on the important stuff (and your love life is important) your productivity could skyrocket.
Take Steve Pavlina. This guy changed his mindset the second time he tried college. The first time was a disaster. Yet the second time, he got two degrees in three semesters.
Plus if you worry about your grades, use this system that I use for work, so you can measure on a daily and weekly basis your performance and ensure amazing grades. (Trust me, it’s amazing.)
➔ But also, you can actually find a girlfriend that helps you study! Let’s see how:
The Fun Boring Stuff —Plan Your Future
This seems like a dull exercise, but it’s actually fun when you see its potential.
Now you’re a virgin in college. Let’s say you want to get a girlfriend in the next 3 months. OK, so what’s next?
If you’ve read this post on how to improve your dating life (please read if you didn’t) you know I like to go step-by-step.
It seems to take longer, but planning every step makes you go much faster. Because if you don’t plan, in the end you find roadblocks and you end up doing nothing.
With this approach, you set weekly objectives and put them to practice within your 3-month goal.
So the first step is to decide which type of girlfriend do you want. Someone to just have fun? A really hot girl that is in your class so you can study together? You choose! Although I recommend trying, don’t obsess with a particular girl either, because that kills attraction as you know.
Now work your plan backwards.
If your goal is finding a girlfriend in the next three months, and now you’re just too afraid to even talk to girls you barely know, then start by that! Check my posts on how to talk to girls, and set your first week of the plan just to get comfortable at that phase. Then the next step, then the next, etc.
Make sure you’ve read and understood The Core of Attraction. If you have doubts, again, ask me.
Also, if you’re in a hurry to stop being a virgin in college, you can get my 30-day course to take you from zero to hero with the daily exercises.
Wrapping it up
Being a virgin in college sucks. Or better said, by getting a good girlfriend you’ll reach another level of existence. You’ll feel empowered. Your sex life will be under control. You’ll be able to really focus on what matters, and you’ll lose that feeling that time is passing by at lightning speed.
Now you have the tools. Take action, ask me anything, and let’s have the best year of your life!
So, what’s your plan to stop being a virgin in college?