Why do you really like women? Why do you prefer her over that other hottie? Most men don’t really know what they’re attracted to.
This is really important because women are more attracted to guys who value them not only for the common things: boobs, ass… But also for things that make her unique. She wants to feel special and loved in a way that not other men can give her. I think one of the reasons for this is they’re instinctively looking for a partner that stays with them even if they get old and ugly.
“I just like her” doesn’t let you differentiate between things all men are attracted to, and things only you are attracted to so she can feel that way.
Also, it’s important for you to know yourself better.
You’ll be able to separate healthy interests from weird fetishes. This post will also be useful to men who have doubts: “am I gay?” “am I bi?” when they’re not.
Most of these facts come from A Billion Wicked Thoughts, by Ogi Ogas, PhD & Sai Gadam, PhD, an amazing semi-scientific book with information everyone should know: what do men really like? You’ll also find raw data on attraction triggers for women, although not how to get them.
What Do Men Want? What Are Men Really Attracted to?
Most of the arousal triggers for men are visual. There are also a few important psychological ones. But most of them are perceived through sight. That’s why we suddenly find ourselves looking at some hot girl that crosses our path.
Most of the visual cues that trigger sexual arousal are parts of the woman’s body.
And let me clarify, just those parts alone. For example you could get horny just by seeing a picture of a good pair of big tits. That’s why there are jokes about women only needing tits and ass.
This may sound very normal to us. But keep in mind this could be very hard to accept for a woman, since they’re attracted to your whole personality. I hope you see the clear difference between the male and female mind here.
So here’s a list of the sexual triggers that we’re attracted to.
Attraction Triggers in A Man
All men like women’s breasts. However what surprised me, is that depending on our culture and experience we develop different tastes. Some men prefer huge tits, some other mid-sized perfect ones, some other smaller ones. I thought all men liked big boobs the most!
Here’s a map of women’s breasts size by country (click to expand):
Are you happy in the country you’re in? 🙂
In women, big boobs are symptom of the accumulation of a gynoid fat that will be used during pregnancy. We like healthy boobs because it’s a sign of fertility.
Gay men are aroused by male armor-plate chests, a sign of masculinity. Not to big boobs, a clear sign of femininity. In general, gay men and straight men are aroused by the same visual cues, it’s just that straight men are attracted to feminine cues while gay men like masculine ones.
An interesting fact if you’re a big-boob lover as I am, is that women’s breasts are getting bigger with new generations.
The impact of good nutrition and probably some natural selection because of beauty standards is breeding girls with bigger tits!
Note that you probably know. The limbic system doesn’t get if the girl’s boobs are real or fake, or if she’s wearing push-up bras. If you like big boobs, the moment you spot the possibility of them, you’re triggered.
The female butt is the other main sexual trigger for heterosexual men. There is some variation in taste as there is with the tits, but the norm is to be aroused mostly by round asses. It’s also because a round ass is full of gynoid fat.
Another common sexual attraction trigger is women with a waist-to-hip ratio of 70%. It’s not just the butt. The proportion between hip and waist is said to be the optimal for bearing children.
An interesting fact is that not men of all cultures have the same preference of boobs over butts. Check this distribution of search queries in adult sites:
What are you most attracted to? Boobs or butts?
Straight men prefer small feet. It’s a symptom of femininity because more estrogens, the female sexual hormones, limit feet growth. I’m not very aroused by feet although I prefer smaller cute ones.
However they are an important sexual attraction trigger in men. And some develop pretty serious fetishes to the point they go around looking a girls’ feet on the street with nobody noticing what’s going on.
#4 Erect Penises
I know most heterosexual men won’t admit that, even I have a hard time with it (pun intended) but gay and straight men are aroused by this visual cue. But it’s not like straight men want to suck or anything.
The main reason heterosexual men are aroused by hard wood is that the part of the brain that controls sexual arousal gets very basic information from the real world. For that part of the brain, seeing an erect penis is sign that there are fertile women around willing to procreate.
That disconnect between real women and sexual arousal is the reason most viewers of transsexual pornography are actually straight men!
Because they are looking at a “woman” and an erect penis. The limbic system doesn’t give a crap about social rejection or anything like that. It just gets aroused.
This one is pretty obvious. Only women have it. And if a man spot one and it’s wet and seems ready to have sex, it is attractive.
It doesn’t matter how it looks, it’s size, etc. as long as the man doesn’t have a fetish or likes it in a certain way.
Men prefer young women. But not too young, because they wouldn’t be fertile. This one is not exactly a visual cue, but in most cases it is. If you notice, most beautiful women have child-like features: small nose, perfect face, big eyes, long shiny hair… All those are features that older women don’t share with children very often.
If that is then combined with a stunning body that conveys fertility (big boobs, big butt, curves…) she is the whole package:
Youth conveys how many years of fertility remain to a woman. Therefore men look for younger women when looking for a long term relationship in which she will bear children.
Youth is not just about skin age. It’s about everything together: the beautiful hair, make up that make eyes look bigger, the colors she wears…
If a woman is looking to increase her attraction triggers in a man, understanding this is one of the most powerful allies.
#7 Maturity and experience
Like youth, maturity is not necessarily visual, but you perceive someone’s maturity in her signs of aging. It’s the opposite of youth, obviously. But MILFs or even old women have their audience.
Older women are more likely to have casual sex without emotional commitment. That’s the idea they represent. That’s their main sexual appeal.
It’s not grannies. It’s MILFs, cougars, and women that are more accessible for just sex.
Mixed Mating Strategies
It may sound weird that men find attractive both young women and older women. We are one of the few species who do that. At the same time, we want a stable relationship with more security for our offspring (younger women) and banging as many women as possible to improve our hallmark through next generations (older, more accessible women).
This explains why you’re in a committed relationship yet still can’t take your eyes off of that stunning bartender.
But don’t blame your biological nature. 🙂 The type of relationship you want is ultimately a conscious personal choice.
Other Psychological Sexual Triggers in Men
So far we’ve seen the most common visual interests for men. But there are also a few psychological cues, which are:
Ancient men couldn’t be sure about their biological paternity. They could be taking care of a child his woman gave birth to, yet the true father was some other guy. That still happens (around 1 in 25), but at least now the cuckold can gen-check his paternity.
But our innate behavior is to seek for signs of fidelity in our woman. The logic here is: if my woman is faithful to me, I can be surer that those babies are mine. As a result, we actually find a girl hotter if she’s more faithful to us than to anyone else.
For instance, we find very arousing when a woman is very passionate, caring, tender or cuddly with us, if she is having orgasms with us, and does whatever we ask her to do.
Men are damned to never be satisfied. Once we’ve banged a woman, we want another one.
As long as we don’t have a serious relationship or aren’t needy, we try to go from one woman to the next because our instinct is to maximize the chances of having a good offspring. So this is true especially if we were only interested in her body to start with.
Novelty is also one of the causes of porn addiction and it’s cousin porn-induced ED. Since high-speed internet porn allows us to constantly be aroused by novelty of girls and videos, our stimulation centers create tolerance so we need ever more stimuli.
This novelty trigger also explains the cheerleader effect. That is, to find find more attractive a group of different women each of them separately!
Whether it’s real women or online porn… Only culture, education and awareness can avoid this novelty-seeking fate from ruining your plans.
I was very surprised when I learned that today’s population comes from 40% of all men in history and of 80% of all women. In other words, the men who bang are doing it for the other half who don’t!
Which group you want to be in?! 😉
If some man has sex with a woman, you knew it, and right away you also nailed the girl… there’s a chance her son would be yours, right?
That is the cause of this psychological sexual trigger of competition.
This arousal trigger explains why some men are into the cuckold fetish or the popularity of group sex.
It’s said that the glans penis’ shape has the goal of ‘scooping out’ the semen of rival men out of the woman’s vagina.
And that’s pretty much it.
Those are the basic sexually-arousing triggers for men, although each and everyone of us has a preference.
For instance, why would a man want his wife to be faithful to him (fidelity) and cheat on him at the same time (competition)? First off, competition isn’t the same as cheating. But the conclusion is some men find more arousing some of these triggers, and some other focus on other triggers.
These aren’t fixed rules. Culture and experiences build our sexual taste on the foundation of our biology.
Other Cued Sexual Interests
There’s still one more “generic” sexual trigger in a man.
There are also cued interests. Sexually-arousing triggers that our brain links to something. It could be an object, a context, a situation…
Let’s say you had a very strong erection once that you were at the doctor. Then, you can’t avoid getting an erection every time you go to the doctor, even after decades. Or you don’t have that problem, but you get especially horny every time your girlfriend plays doctor… You get the idea. That’s the beauty of sexual desire.
Final Tip 1
There’s another attraction trigger that’s harder to classify. It’s weight. Men are attracted to heavier women rather than skinnier women.
For every adult internet search for skinny women, there are three for chubby women.
We don’t like fat girls. Also, people should be as healthy as possible. However, studies show that if you give a men two similar girls to choose, we get more aroused by the one who weighs more.
This is just a tip for when you have to deal with girls that are constantly bombarded with messages to get ultra-thin. We’re building a society of extremes: extremely overweight or extremely thin.
Again, we don’t like fat. We like healthy women with the right amount of fat.
Final Tip 2
When you’re in a relationship, you’re not activating the novelty trigger, so things can get boring after a while. So how to extend your sexual life?
However, there’s a loophole to trigger novely. Our archaic limbic system is not that bad after all. 🙂
By having your girlfriend to regularly change her looks, you’re triggering that part of the brain. Obviously it’s not the same than having a different woman. But anything, from changing her hairstyle to have cosplay sex in costumes lol. Anything that makes her look differently than you were used to for the last few weeks, and you’ll be constantly more attracted to her.
Wrapping This Up
So this is it. Now when someone gives you sh*t about why men like things, you can share this post and end the discussion.
But let’s also remind women who read this and women in your life: no matter how you look, men are aroused by many more sexual triggers. Take advantage of them!
So, what are you attracted to the most?