Online Porn Will Cause You ED Even If You’re Young —How to Fix It Now

On January 15, 2015, In Guides & How-To's by .

pied nofap post headerDo you want to have the sex life of a male porn star? Then ironically masturbating to online porn isn’t the best way to get there. Actually, even if you just want to enjoy a normal, healthy and satisfying sex life with a girlfriend, every minute you spend fapping to online porn is keeping you from it.

➔ If you masturbate online frequently, this article will revolutionize your life. Make a prediction why…

Table of Contents:

Watching too much online porn has caused my penis to work like that of an 80-year-old grandpa. Let me tell you how shocking it is to find myself in that reality on a magical spring night, after picking up the most beautiful girl in the world… not very nice.

When I searched for a solution, I realized that millions of guys like me, grown in the Internet era, are also caught in this trap. More and more. This must be addressed NOW.

This is not an ideological position. I’m not a moral authority nor want to be. This is about desensitization or tolerance. That biological principle of your brain makes you always need more to get the same high, until there’s a point that reality isn’t enough, if you know what I mean.

ATTENTION:

This article on online porn and impotence is longer than the typical blog post. Most people won’t get to read the first paragraph and if they do, they just skim through (you can download a PDF version at the end). However if you see yourself in the following cases, I recommend you take a break from your busy life and read carefully:

  • You are young (under 45) and healthy and already have erection problems.
  • You have trouble orgasming with real girls. But you can with pornography.
  • You watch online pornography, increasingly hardcore, even escalating to genres you don’t actually like (e.g. gay, trans, humiliation, extreme porn, etc.).
  • You avoid escalating with real girls because you don’t know how you will perform in bed.
  • Your partner always turned you on, but it’s getting more and more difficult.
  • You’re a girl and feel bad because your boyfriend can’t get it up for you.
  • You’re a girl and are increasing the stimulation you need to get aroused and lubricated. I will focus this article on guys like me (we have the biggest problem in terms of numbers) but it’s applicable to you because the causes are the same.

If you feel identified, first thing you need to know is that these symptoms and others are shared by more and more men every day. We avoid talking about something so intimate which represents our masculinity as our erection, especially being young and healthy.

The funny thing is that 10 years ago that would NOT have happened to us (just like it didn’t happen to that generation).

It is a new phenomenon and you’ll soon understand why.

You also have to know that luckily there IS a solution —although probably it’s not the one you want to hear.

It’s not a magic pill for erection. Also not a testosterone supplement, nor eating right and exercising (although it helps). Do not waste money on this because it does not work.

The solution to your recovery lies in what you DO NOT have to do, and is related to your habits alone in front of the computer.

Because the problem is not pornography as a concept, but these 2 things: porn + high speed internet.

Sneaking a look at your dad’s Playboy would not have caused this problem.

dirty magazine not pied

There’s not much information because the “high speed” is something relatively new. But this problem is becoming a plague, especially among boys who have grown up with the Internet.

Before Anything Else —Mini-dictionary

There’s a jargon spreading among men who are changing their lives. I want to make sure you know the basics:

  • No-fap: describes the movement of men removing porn from their lives – fap is plain slang for “masturbating” but as you’ll see it is an online-porn generated problem.
  • No-PMO: PMO stands for Porn-Masturbation-Orgasm. Sometimes you’ll see P, M or O alone. For example: “I watched P today”.
  • ED: Erectile Dysfunction or impotence. Or its variation: PIEDPorn-Induced Erectile Dysfunction.
  • Rebooting: refers to stop masturbating to online porn to rebalance your brain and recover your natural sexual performance.

There are a lot more terms, but they’re not as common and we’ll see the important ones as we go.

How I Opened My Eyes

The first time I stumbled on this problem, a girl was masturbating me. I thought I couldn’t get it up because she was not very attractive. That never happened to me before, so I was a worried. But I thought I had reasons to explain it; I thought: “when I get to bed with a really hot girl I’ll have no problem.”

My real shock happened a few months later. I had met a gorgeous girl. She had really big breasts, I guess more than double D cup —my fetish. We were kissing on her bed and as I fondled her tits I got hard. “Here I come back” I thought.

I wish… less than a minute later, my penis went-back to a semi-flaccid state. I had to rely on my hand and “using” the girl to have intermittent erections. A few minutes into every time I penetrated her, I would lose my erection… what a mess.

I came down… I’m younger than 30… At some point before I would have tremendous erections just because a girl massaged my head! This made no sense…

This problem not only destroys your sex life. It damages your self-esteem. It confuses the brain system that motivates you to get real things (girls, studies, work…) in order to get fictitious things (girls on a screen). Like a malicious fog, it comes without even noticing. It gradually ruins your life.

You notice the fog is there when it’s so dense you can’t see at all. Or when you manage to get away and see clearer. But it is there, hindering your ability to see the horizon.

I researched to find a solution, whatever it was. Now I’m seeing progress towards my recovery. I want to share everything you need plus my personal strategy for you to solve (or avoid) this huge and growing problem asap.

Disclaimer

Before anything else, I want to state I don’t have anything against porn as a concept. It would be like hating cake because it can cause obesity if we binge on it. I’m not going to sell you any morals. I also don’t see badly that you hate porn if seeing it under a negative light helps you recover faster. I write this article because I want to help with my experience and research against this huge problem looming ahead.

If you think I’m exaggerating, read on.

Do You Have Erectile Dysfunction Induced by Online Porn?

First, you have to know that this type of erectile dysfunction is due to the use of internet porn. And also (luckily) that this impotence is transitory.

In some cases, men can stop watching porn with no difficulties and regain his erection. But in most cases, there is also a porn addiction that prevents them from quitting.

But whether you’re addicted or not, if you get to stop looking at porn, impotence disappears.

When you recover, real girls will cause you strong erections again.

Conversely… if you watch too much online porn and don’t have erection problems yet, know those may be just around the corner. It’s a progressive damage and you’ll perform worse and worse with real girls, until suddenly one day you will not be able to get it up.

If you do not believe my story, you just have to look for reviews of men everywhere.

An Issue of Old Men, Now in Young Men

Google’s suggestions appear when there are a significant number of people seeking the same thing:

google search erectile dysfunctiongoogle search impotencegoogle search can't get hardgoogle search erection troubles

20 years-old! That’s not normal. But maybe Google considers only search volume for its suggestions right? I.e. if there are enough guys searching for that, even if they’re very few as a percentage, they’ll show these suggestions anyways. So for the sake of accuracy, look at these data:

There is a tremendous correlation between the use of online porn and erection problems in youth.

Studies of the 50’s reported an impotence of only 3% of men under 45 years-old.

I don’t have more specific data so I can’t confirm, but I’m prone to think most of that 3% was concentrated toward the higher age range. Let’s just stay with that 3%.

A recent study in young people between 16 and 21 (!!!), 2014, reveals that nearly 60% of young people (sexually active guys and girls) have sexual problems, with 25% of erection problems among men (I emphasize, between 16 and 21).

3% versus 25%!! Four 20-year-old boys have the same probability of impotence thirty 45-y-o men!

In this great video of YourBrainOnPorn.com decreased sexual desire is young:

sexual desire loss teens

Soak in the numbers above: loss of sex drive has increased 6 times in less than 10 years. This means in 2005 you had to put 100 teens together to get one or two with low sexual desire. Now it’s just 10 to find one! And I bet it’s growing.

So why is this? Is this because of the Illuminati? The chemtrails? The abundance of low-quality chicken?

It turns out, there is a very strong correlation between this new phenomenon and the use of online pornography:

int index erectile dysfunction

The left column (the yes) is young guys who regularly visit porn websites. The right one is for those who do not.

The results of this study see half of sexual desire and almost twice as impotence in young people 19-25 who consume porn on the internet.

It seems we have a suspect.

But is this your case?

How to Know if My ED Is Just Performance Anxiety

As you’ve seen, up until now, it wasn’t common for a young guy to had impotence. If he had it, it was usually by nerves on edge or “stage fright “, especially if you’re a virgin or the girl was so hot she was intimidating.

You expect too much from sex with the girl so you get so nervous you can’t get it up.

That thought also crossed my mind, but I dismissed it quickly because I’m never get that anxious. So there is a simple way of checking if that’s your case:

  1. First, try to masturbate in a relaxed environment, focusing on the sensations or thinking about (regular) sex with a girl you like, no porn, not imagining hardcore sex scenes, without pictures or sexy videos, nor tightly massaging your penis with a death-grip. In short, don’t force it with strong stimuli.
  2. After that, if you can’t get an erection that way, masturbate as you usually do (or just remember since you’ve probably masturbated recently).

If you only get an erection with porn, everything suggests that excessive porn watching is the cause of impotence.

If you no longer get wood even with a lot of extreme hardcore porn, first check with your doctor to rule out an organic problem. If the doctor says you’re fine, the problem is that you have so much tolerance to online porn that it no longer excites you. The solution is the same: quit porn.

If you get aroused and masturbate alone, without forcing it, without porn, and you still can’t get hard in front of girls, where you feel anxious, have low self-esteem, have a negative mindset… It’s “stage fright”.

This article is not about that —but you can fix it. You have to improve your self-esteem and remove the cause of your anxiety. Search for it or go to a psychologist and you’ll be fine.

Discarded stage fright, let’s see more evidence and solutions:

Are You Addicted to Porn?

You may be thinking: “Addiction? I’m not an addict. I don’t even drink alcohol!”

I know it’s hard to admit —from experience. Especially since this issue is not yet broadly known by society —much less, accepted. But that’s the first step, get pissed and then admit it so you can change!

But wait, maybe you are not an addict. Let’s test it:

The easy way to know if you’re an addict is trying to stop watching porn for as long as you want.

For example, I really like Martini. It’s one of my favorite alcoholic beverages. But for months I haven’t had any, and I don’t care. At all. Because I am not addicted to alcohol, let alone to Martini.

If I say “because of X reason (e.g. save money) I won’t buy Martinis for a month.” It costs me nothing to accomplish the goal. I don’t come up with excuses like “What if… just a sip? What if I have to save more and I can’t have a Martini for a year? Come on… just once, no big deal!

However, I’ve thought similar things when trying to quit porn, like “OMG how hot is she, and what a scene! It’s so dirty and unique… There’s nothing like it! How am I going to quit something that gives me this amazing pleasure? OK maybe I can quit porn, but this girl I’ll keep an eye out for her.”

What I didn’t understand is that I felt “there’s nothing like it” because I trained brain to too much porn —but you can train it with something healthy and positive too.

At first I struggled a lot. Relapsed time and time again. I would spot a hot girl down the street or on TV. Later I would remember about it and ended up like, “come on just one more time”, “OMG, what a pair of boobs on that actress, I watch this video (it ended up being 11) and quit”.

Luckily in my first attempt to stop watching porn I managed to reach more than 100 days of no-fapping.

Good!

It was a casual contact. I actually felt good to enjoy a masturbatory session after my powerful manifestation of self-control. An innocent masturbation after so much time. But it quickly turned a relapse —consuming online porn every day.

I did not take it with the seriousness it deserves.

Are You Addicted to High-Speed Internet Porn?

You know the easy way to check if you are: try to quit.

In case you need to confirm this, the following is a test of the American Psychological Association to help you identify if you are an addict. It is intended for substance abuse, not for porn, but as you’ll understand it is applicable to this issue.

If you answer Yes to 3 or more of these questions, you’re addicted to porn. If so, you are entitled to be pissed off, but also be glad you are going to fix it.

  1. Increased Tolerance: Have you increased the number of hours you watch porn or do you watch porn that’s more extreme, hardcore, fetish or shocking?
  2. Withdrawal Symptoms: If you stop watching porn for several days, do you experience any cravings to watch more of it, irritability, bad mood, headache, inability to sleep, trembling…? This can vary from man to man. In short: do you feel discomfort you don’t feel if you consume online porn?
  3. Difficulty Controlling Consumption: Do you use porn for a longer period than you would like, edging to delay orgasm for a long time or getting there multiple times?
  4. Negative Consequences: Do you keep using online porn despite the negative impact it’s causing (on your mood, self-esteem, work, family, etc.)?
  5. Neglecting or Postponing Activities: Has masturbating to online porn made you postpone, abandon or avoid important tasks or reduce your time to socializing with people?
  6. Desire to Reduce Consumption: Have you thought about or attempted without success to decrease the amount of porn you see, the extremeness in the porn you consume, or to control its use somehow? Most addicts (we) say they can quit whenever they want, or “just one more time and that’s it, I quit” but usually it costs much more attempts if you don’t take it as seriously as it needs to.
  7. Use of Time and Energy: Do you spend a lot of your time and ingenuity to get, store, consume, hide or recover from porn?

Be honest with yourself. You of all people know your habits. These questions are quite clear for someone consuming a lot of porn.

If you answered Yes to only 2 or less of these points, great. The ride will be much easier for you.

Symptoms of the Addiction to Online Porn

I’m positive on all points of the test above —more in some questions than others, but all of them get a Yes. Therefore I’m an addict.

So what are the wonderful symptoms of the addiction to high-speed internet porn?

  1. Getting aroused only to lots of pornography, not real women.
  2. Progressively worse erectile dysfunction —especially in men with youth and health that does not match the typical sexual impotence.
  3. Frequent masturbation with little satisfaction.
  4. Concern about escalating to more extreme, weird or shocking porn.
  5. Shifting sexual taste toward a sexual orientation that doesn’t match the real one.
  6. Social anxiety.
  7. Chronic fatigue.
  8. Lack of motivation to do things you should or even want to do.
  9. Lack of focus and concentration, restlessness.

But what concerns us most?

You are with a girl you really like. You have spent some time picturing being alone with her. Even if you’re still a virgin, you know that’s the kind of girl you want. So the moment finally arrives. You undress her. She undresses you. She starts to get very aroused and expects you to do something about it. Then…

What? No reaction down there? The girl is sizzling hot!

She perceives you’re stressed and tries to do things to get you relaxed. She chills a bit and shows more affection, giving you time.

Nothing.

Fear begins to overpower you…

Symptoms of Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction

erectile dysfunction symbol

Let’s zero in on the symptoms of erectile dysfunction induced by porn in huge amounts on the internet.

You don’t have to suffer all these symptoms (e.g. I suffer most, but not all). Let’s see:

  1. No morning wood. No spontaneous erections during the day.
  2. No wet dreams or nocturnal emissions (ejaculating during sleep).
  3. Diminishing sensitivity in the penis.
  4. You can’t get permanently excited with “soft” porn, magazines or just one video. At best that’s just the starting point to see more porn.
  5. Impotence with real girls, or ability to get an erection at the start of having sex that soon gets soft and doesn’t come back on its own.
  6. You get excited with real girls but it’s not easy to reach orgasm and ejaculate, or it depends entirely on your control (e.g. only through masturbating).
  7. You just get excited with a lot of pornography, i.e. opening multiple pictures, animations, tabs, videos, choosing the best scenes, constantly changing to keep the rush high.
  8. In order to get an erection you have escalate to ever more extreme or humiliating pornography, even to porn genres you actually reject from your sexuality or personal values (e.g. transsexuals, urine, scat, zoo, etc.)
  9. Only a very specific fetish gets you aroused (fellatio, small feet, latex, models dressed in X fashion, etc.)
  10. Impotence even to extreme consumption of extreme pornography.
  11. Erection enhancement drugs have little or no effect (more on that later).

Let me emphasize, all these symptoms assume we have a healthy young body that normally shouldn’t have those erection problems.

When I say young and healthy, I’m not talking about 20-year-old athletes. A chubby 35-year-old man may not have such a powerful natural erection, but he shouldn’t have these problems either.

I Watch Porn Even While Having Breakfast and Don’t Have Any Problems…

By the way, if you still don’t have impotence but you answered yes to 3 or more of the questions of the online porn addiction test, you and I are in a difficult position because you don’t see concrete signs of what I am telling you, but it’s just a matter of time.

The spiral of negative symptoms absorbs without you realizing it.

I’m not telling you because I’m a 21st century prophet. I’m telling you because I’ve been there. Online porn changed some of my habits and slowly gained a huge chunk of my life with disastrous consequences.

Once I heard one guy watched “Japanese porn even for breakfast”. At that time I thought that was funny… Well, now you can see how it ends… I don’t want you to get to that point. With other life experiences, you think “they’ll see for themselves and learn to make better choices”. Well in this case, I can tell you, you don’t even want to get there.

So let’s see how to recover your strong natural erections, because the more you delay correcting the problem, the more you will reinforce it and the harder it will be to correct.

How to Recover from Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction (PIED)

In short: the solution is to stop masturbating to porn or any other artificial stimulus.

When you understand what this problem is causing you, you want to quit suddenly.

The problem is that it’s not so easy. Especially if you find yourself with the symptoms and behaviors in the lists above.

When I understood the problem, I was so in shock that I quit online porn drastically for over three months. However a bad strategy on my part made me relapse almost without realizing it, and now I’m on my second (and final) round to beat this addiction to high-speed internet porn.

The greatest challenge people face is gaining awareness of their problems to understand them “from outside”, as another person would do, so you can correct them with logic and reasoning, not just aimless emotion hoping that luckily the new behavior where porn doesn’t influence you sticks. Failure to do so is the main reason there are fat people, people who can’t overcome traumas and complexes, etc. and in this case, porn addicts to the point of having erectile dysfunction.

Then I will also give you my personal strategy for you recover soon.

In order to move to the next level, you must first understand what makes your brain addicted to porn.

How Your Brain Reacts to High-Speed Internet Porn

The study of the brain is complex and there’s not complete understanding. Fortunately scientists and professionals of different disciplines are making more and more studies on the impact of current porn addiction.

That’s the key. Although not all answers are yet available, there’s enough understanding of the general cause of the problem and how to solve it, fortunately.

When I looked for solutions I found the great work Professor Gary Wilson is doing in YourBrainOnPorn.com , a great reference website where you will find a lot of material that I highly recommend. Check out this TED-talk video on porn-induced erectile dysfunction:

The main conclusion is that the common variable causing negative symptoms is always the same: overconsumption of high-speed internet porn.

Here is what I consider most important of that website’s conclusions:

Addiction is in Your Brain

A common mistake when talking about addictions is to believe that addiction stems from the substance.

So how can we be addicted to pornography? There’s no substance. Pleasure comes from orgasm which is a bodily function. And remember other very real addictions: slots, Facebook, video games…

Addiction doesn’t lie in the thing you’re addicted to.

Addiction is the process by which your brain is looking to repeat the pleasure.

You attach some electrodes to the brain region that controls reward of the addiction and a rat (or person) receives the same pleasure.

The source of pleasure is what changes: video games, cocaine, alcohol, food rich in fats and sugars… or online porn in large quantity.

There are differences if an addiction is caused by a substance, of course. But the addiction process is the same. Brain function changes equally. How exactly?

The Brain Reward System

The reward system of the brain is located in a very ancient part of the brain (limbic system) and its function is to repeat “the good” and avoid “the bad”.

What does it want? It wants you to survive (eating, being healthy, avoiding hazards) and to reproduce (having sex with the best women).

Whenever we perceive a stimulus (spot a hot babe), the brain’s reward system motivates us to get that stimulus.

This system, especially without training, tends to dominate the conscious-intelligent part. For example without discipline to eat right, we eat cake even though consciously we know it’s wrong.

The limbic system does not understand if the girl is real and you can actually have a child with her, if you’re using a condom, or if it’s just an image on a screen. The limbic system is guided by simple commands like: nice tits, nice ass, receptive female, fertile woman, that one yes, that one no, etc. in order to ensure you can have more and better offspring.

If it perceives fertility, it motivates you to go for it.

If it perceives fertility and on top of that you are successful, it rewards us with great pleasure. The orgasm. This conditions our behavior to repeat and go for it even more.

Your limbic system wants you to go back to porn because it believes you’re fertilizing the girls that appear on the screen.

When we perceive sexual stimulation, the reward system tells the hypothalamus to tell the penis: “get up”.

brain penis erection signal

That is done thanks to dopamine. But why is it important?

Dopamine

Dopamine is the neurochemical motivates us to get those rewards we talked about.

Gary Wilson uses very good metaphor: the reward system is the engine of ALL we do. Dopamine is the gasoline of that engine.

neural connection dopamine macro micro

It gets us motivated to get up in the morning to succeed that day.

It gets us motivated to exercise to get in shape.

It gets us motivated to go out and socialize to meet people (and women).

It gets us motivated to do the necessary to pick up that girl we like.

So how we develop all these problems… until erectile dysfunction appears? When we abuse a stimulus, dopamine becomes the molecule of addiction.

Consider the effect of high-speed internet porn.

Novelty

Why do I keep repeating all the time: online porn, high speed internet porn, porn in large quantity…?

What sets current pornography apart from that 10 years ago, is the quick access today to the novelty sexual trigger.

The novelty sexual trigger makes us men way more excited to new girls in different situations that the same girl again and again.

The minds of men show this trend in recurring fantasies about threesomes, or for instance the cheerleader effect (pop name for the idea that a few women look more beautiful together than separately).

Sex with the same girl again and again causes decreasing arousal in men and more time to ejaculate, even with very attractive girls (Coolidge effect).

By the way, as a tip for girls to maintain their sex appeal in a relationship, this excitation by novelty doesn’t distinguish much between two different girls or the same girl dressed differently, adopting different roles, etc. And also by the way, novelty excites men, but that does not mean they are more promiscuous (in the Western world, men and women are equally promiscuous).

The important thing is that we don’t get bored with internet porn at high speed. Such novelty causes a tremendous and growing excitement.

It is what is called a super-stimulus.

The problem comes when we get used to that super-excitation and increase it nonstop.

How Erectile Dysfunction Gets Worse

Think about the main objective of getting it up: produce offspring with fertile women.

Simplifying just for having a numbers reference, how many women can mate with a man in his life?

It doesn’t matter if it’s 1, 10, 100 or 1000. I take this reference to understand that our brain and body are not prepared to see 100 sexually receptive women every time we fap to high speed internet porn.

100 a day for a year, 36,500 women. An exaggeration.

This is the key to how one girl, no matter how pretty she is, means then nothing for us.

In one hour we can —literally— see more attractive girls willing to have sex than one of our ancestors saw in his whole life. Even inside a computer display, our limbic system doesn’t know.

Actress Jennifer Lawrence, following the scandal of her nude photos, said they were made for her boyfriend.

She added this statement: “Either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or you”.

Without criticizing her words, Jennifer Lawrence sees her behavior from the perspective of a girlfriend who has to compete against an increasingly sexualized culture. She’s just trying to keep up and bring the attention of her boyfriend back to her.

But what do you want me to say… As a man with animal instincts, of course it tempts me to live in a very sexualized society. A society where women are increasingly sexier and more receptive.

Now, as an intelligent man aiming to control his instincts for his own benefit, I prefer a society where explicit sex loses to flirting, seduction, non-animalistic people with the ability to articulate a logical sentence, affection… and then when it’s time to take quick sex, dirty sex, animal sex, it’s lived and enjoyed with intensity.

Not with the senses numbed after watching 80 videos.

In short, the more online porn we consume, the more these 2 things happen (killing erection):

  1. Arousal to real girls decreases —as well as excitement to other stimuli as eating good food, making money, winning at sports, etc.
  2. Our preference for porn increases.

Let’s see:

How Arousal to Real Girls Decreases

Since I learned about this problem, I pay attention to the sexual reactions of others. I often see men of 40 or 50 and it seems they get horny by a girl in a bikini than I do. See how these guys’ pulse reacts when hot girls approach.

Well, it doesn’t “seem” like they’re more excited. They really get more excited than many young guys who have seen 10,000 videos.

When you watch porn, your reward system generates an enormous amount of dopamine (motivation to reach orgasm).

arousal high dopamine synapsis

The nucleus accumbens (the core of the reward system) sends a nerve signal to the hypothalamus , and this to your penis to get an erection.

brain penis erection signal

These signals are transmitted by dopamine.

The next time you consume porn, you open 2 videos instead of one, or a more exciting than the last video. Either option is equally easy with all the options available and high-speed internet. Therefore the amount of dopamine released is even greater.

Gradually, you create tolerance for that excitement.

That is, you have to watch stronger porn and more videos (more novelty) to have the same rush.

Remember that when we abuse a reward dopamine becomes the addiction molecule? Why is that?

Imagine that you move to Iceland. Some months you have sunlight for more than 20 hours a day. Your house has so many windows for the darker months that so much light it’s quickly becoming annoying. You can’t rest.

The neurotransmitters in your nervous system can’t receive the huge amount of dopamine caused by online porn. The high feels great, but you are not prepared for that much dopamine.

So your brain closes some “windows” of your house so that you get a normal amount of “light”.

Dopamine receptors shut down to avoid getting that huge rush of stimulation.

damaged dopamine receptors low arousal

Notice how there actually are lower receptors on your nerve cells.

In short, since online porn stimulates you so much, your physiology puts on the brakes.

The trouble is that the brakes are still on with real girls.

By creating tolerance for strong stimuli, you need more to get the same excitement. More and more, until sexually receptive real girls don’t get you excited nor make you feel that strong inner urge that “I have to hit on them.”

In addition, natural pleasures (eating chocolate, the freshness of the morning, a massage…) are not as exciting and motivating.

You desensitize to reality.

How Arousal to Porn Increases

The more porn you seek to watch, the more dopamine you release for it, and the more of a molecular switch called Delta-FosB accumulates in your brain. I won’t make this more complicated —what matters is that as Delta-FosB accumulates, real physical changes occur in your brain to adapt it to your habits.

Porn induced erectile dysfunction is not a problem of the penis or psychological.

Brain changes actually take place.

Consider this drawing of the natural reaction to stimuli:

brain reward center natural stimuli

We have natural stimuli, including beautiful and sexually receptive girls. We have a conscious self which judges whether doing something is reasonable or not.

By watching a lot of porn, the accumulation of Delta-FosB makes the super-stimulating memories of porn (that actress, that scene, that fetish…) are increasingly present in our pursuit of pleasure and success:

brain hiperstimulated by porn

Our memories of porn carry so many stimuli that gradually other things in life, including real girls, seem and feel duller.

In addition, since the decision power of the frontal lobe decreases, we lose ability to judge and decide we shouldn’t continue with it. We literally become more stupid less smart.

Over time, you get excited less to real girls, and more with online porn. It never happens just one of those two things.

The two effects are increasingly reinforcing each other.

The less reality excites us the more we turn to porn. And the more we turn to porn, the less we get excited we get excited with reality.

This negative spiral creates addiction slowly, without realizing it.

Just like the addictive process of a drug (like Neuroplasticity with natural rewards and drugs).

Our libido to real stimuli goes down. Hot real girls spontaneously stop making us horny.

If we keep on behaving like this, natural erections are easily lost.

Cues

A cue is something you perceive that triggers a behavior.

For example imagine you are with a few friends and a pretty girl with a perfume that you love walks by your side (she is the cue for what you do next). After joking with your colleagues, you go talk to her.

A cue can also be internal, e.g. walking and sensing a roar in your stomach (cue) motivates you to enter a pastry shop.

Cues can be conscious or not. They activate our reward system, so we are motivated to act and get that reward.

A sexual cue (warning: that link has a ton of sexual triggers) can be many different things: situations, thoughts, something you read, a conversation, things around you… They are normal sources of our behavior.

Well, the bad news is when we get used to too much porn our brain is reconfigured , anything that is minimally sexual motivates us to watch porn.

Anything is a sexual cue. Then we consume more porn and our porn addiction gets even worse.

A sexy girl in a TV show, a dumb meme on a Whatsapp group, some sexual words you heard before, being alone in your room with a laptop…

If you’re addicted like me, I’m sure you can recognize yourself being triggered into porn without even noticing.

Soon thereafter you are opening many browser tabs, pictures, videos, looking for the scene you like the most, looking for your fetish, the name of that actress, edging to enjoy the rush for a long time while watching more and more porn…

This hypersensitivity to cues that lead to PMO is the result of the addiction, and we must be twice as careful with them, because that’s where everything is triggered. Each cue is a battle to get out of this behavior that sinks your life.

If you’ve ever talked with friends about any type of sex addiction, you’ve probably heard them say (and even agreed as I did) something along the lines of: “Addicted to Porn? Nonsense! Sex is natural!” as if it’s just a sign of being a real man.

If you’ve already determined you’re an addict to online porn because of overwhelming agreement to what you’re reading, and someone tells you that’s BS, tell him to read this article and end the discussion.

So let’s delve into how it works.

Natural Stimuli vs. Artificial Stimuli

There are two main types of addiction:

  • Addiction to substances (alcohol, drugs…)
  • Addiction to natural

Setting aside the obvious differences, both types of addiction causes the same effects in the brain, in dopamine release, in brain circuitry, in frontal lobe deterioration…

The two main rewards natural are food and sex. Why? Because the innate behavior of all beings is to survive (food, avoiding danger) and reproduce (sex).

Natural rewards cause great pleasure to consume in large quantities because thousands of years ago it wasn’t normal to find abundance of them. It wasn’t normal to binge on rich foods every day, nor to see 100 really hot and dirty women on the same day.

People who are addicted to food rich in fat and sugars get fat. Online porn addicts end up with erectile dysfunction…

So the fact that they are “natural” addictions doesn’t mean they are less serious.

They are very serious.

The difference with drug addicts is that when we recover we have to keep eating and having sex, but with control and a different mindset.

What Real Sex Is

Real sex is NOT a lot of videos, many hours looking for scenes and pictures of an actress who gets us horny, and escalating up to the transsexuals section of a porn tube (shh… I told nobody) as this user declares:

online porn user comment

Real sex is a game of conquest, touching, smell, pheromones, emotional connection, interacting with others, knowing each other, teasing. If you have any experience prior to heavy porn use it’s easy for you to understand.

I’m not selling you a moral about love > sex.

I’m not saying that sex without love is not worth it, or anything along those lines. Picking up a girl to get into her pants can take years, weeks, days or just hours if the girl wants and you do it right.

By the way, that’s the main topic of this blog, so subscribe if you want to learn the most powerful, simple and natural way to pick up girls —that took me 5+ years to develop right:


My point is that a screen full of illuminated pixels is NOT sex! It is a deception of the limbic system!

Numbed Pleasure Response —Desensitization

Deep into the addiction, our brain reward circuitry changes to look for more and more online porn. Therefore, dopamine flow for other activities is much lower.

desensitization sexual stimuli hot babe

In short, neither real girls excite us, nor caresses… nor everyday things that made us enthusiastic before. We are not aware of our state because the numbing is gradual, like boiling a frog that doesn’t resist it because it’s put in cold water at first.

We’re shocked when we leave the boiling hot water and start to feel life with excitement again.

Dopamine drives our life to have a great time and to improve ourselves (and our achievements).

But with so much dopamine driving our search for online porn, life can seem boring without it at first —while our brain rebalances.

Online porn is all that gives us that big squirt of dopamine we crave.

An angry guy told me how unjust was to never be able to experience the high rush porn brings. I’ve had times when I also thought exactly that. It’s normal, but it’s just not true. It’s just that we have become too accustomed to porn, but our brains can actually enjoy MORE without it, because you put it in its natural balance.

We don’t realize that precisely porn has made us ignore reality and that keeping watching porn only reinforces this downward spiral.

Artificial Stimuli vs. Think It Twice

The conscious, rational part of our brains is there to assist in our decision making process. It makes a prediction of what might happen based on the information we have.

For example if you are offered a cake but you’re on a diet, our limbic system thinks “cake, good, eat” but our rational neocortex takes the information you have to make a prediction. It steps in and reminds you: “hey! You’re on a diet, don’t eat, you’re going to get fat“.

The more porn we consume and orgasm to it, the more your irrational limbic brain understands it’s doing the right thing. The neural pathway of porn gets reinforced. The rational brain degrades.

With the passage of time and since we ignore it, our conscious brain becomes weaker! Not just metaphorically, it is an actual physical change due to neuroplasticity.

As a result, the decisions we take are ever more stupid.

Although we don’t like to admit it, we become a little dumber.

But this not only affects small decisions you take (those little bricks of your whole life).

Our motivation to eat well, work harder, and organize our long-term life also changes.

Short Term Instant Gratification vs. Long-term Motivation

First, we don’t find as much pleasure in the little things.

Second, crappy life situations don’t bother us as much either.

In addition, we lose ability to choose and act rationally, plus…

… Lack of motivation.

This is a deadly cocktail for your success as a man.

I do not want to get all self-development guru, but you have a huge potential as a man. I’m not saying you have to be a great artist, a great businessman, or anything like that. I’m talking about a huge potential to live as you want.

You want to live in that city. Succeed in your career. Enjoy every moment to its fullest. Being a great teacher. Or be a billionaire. It doesn’t matter.

Whatever your dream, the possibilities of achieving it will go down the toilet with an addiction like this one. Not just because you waste a lot of time watching online porn… but because to lose the erection some part of your identify, purpose and enjoyment as a man fades away.

No need for explanations. If you’re a man, you know what I’m talking about…

Why This Issue Isn’t Solved with Pills

ed viagra blue pills

Why erection enhancement pills like Viagra don’t cure this impotence?

First of all, I’m no doctor. I’ll just explain you what the doctors say:

The active ingredients in these pills (sildenafil, tadalafil, vardenafil) regulate the blood flow into the penis, but they work assuming the man is aroused.

The problem of porn induced erectile dysfunction is that there’s no true excitement, NO sex drive. When you see a hot babe you get that initial spark because it’s so engrained in our biology, but you’ve trained the brain to pursue other type of sexual reward —a lot of porn. The signals in the nervous system are so weak they don’t get to the penis in the first place.

In other words, if you were truly excited, your penis would function normally.

That’s why you can get it up to hardcore porn!

To sum up:

  • The typical erectile dysfunction is caused by problems in the blood flow to the penis. Viagra and other similar pills correct that.
  • Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction lies in the brain caused by an unbalanced reward mechanism. No pill solves that. It is solved by quitting porn therefore letting your brain go back to normal.

Why It’s Not Solved with Testosterone Supplements Either

Before my current No-PMO streak I saw a lot of ads for testosterone supplements.

I’m talking about ads like these (I censored images to avoid triggering into porn):

testosterone erection ads

I’m not saying they don’t work. Any medical product should have its health permits, etc.

I guess there are men who find those useful, but unfortunately, this does nothing for men with porn induced erectile dysfunction.

Our problem is not testosterone. As Gary Wilson says, even baby children get spontaneous erections yet they have little testosterone, so that’s not the problem.

In addition, our problem isn’t usually a complete sexual impotence, but lack of erections when we should (i.e. having regular sex with real girls). Of course, impotence can worsen and never get erections —but that would be a more advanced state of this porn induced problem, not one caused by low testosterone.

How to Recover and Have a Healthy Sex Life

healthy sex life no pied

We know how it works. We have seen that you can get addicted to porn and not have impotence (yet).

You can also have impotence but no porn addiction (i.e. it’s easy to quit). It can most likely occur to older men who have had a normal sexual youth, or young guys who watched porn but also had regular sex with girls.

And the most common problem in young people that have gotten used since adolescence to be satisfied with online porn is having impotence + PMO addiction.

Whatever your case, the remedy is the same: stop watching porn.

Easier said than done… So let’s explain in detail how recovery works.

The most important factor is NOT WATCHING PORN, but also not fantasizing about it, and not seeing pictures or videos that are relatively sexy.

For example, if you had gotten to the point you watched porn with animals (…) now you cannot say: “ok, I’ll just look at non-hardcore videos with sexy models.” NO. Huge mistake. Neither sexy photos on Instagram or Twitter profiles or anything like that. Not even hot Facebook friends. Why?

If you do that you’re just going to recalibrate the problem with the new source of arousal.

The goal is to return to your brain’s natural balance. Don’t try to search for a loophole because the solution is dumb simple.

It’s just one thing: quit online porn and any other artificial sexual stimuli. This includes not looking at sexy girls on Facebook, Instagram, or wherever you can find constant excitement for your brain to keep you hooked.

PMO vs. MO vs. O

Now, you can doubt whether you can continue masturbating (MO, without the “P”) thinking of real girls, thinking of their smell, the way they move, how she touches you… There is also the possibility that you have a girlfriend and you can have sex with her (O). Should/can you?

I do not know if you should, but logic and the experiences of thousands of men recovering, tells us that yes you can MO or O with real girls and recover.

Why?

Because the important thing here is to strengthen the natural mechanism of sexual reward. Just avoid P at all costs.

Here it’s up to you. In my case, I don’t have a stable girlfriend at the moment so I’m doing no-PMO. No Porn, No Masturbation, No Orgasm.

If you have a girlfriend I personally wouldn’t masturbate, and I will also avoid orgasming with her too. Why?

When you masturbate picturing sexual situations, there is a fine line between picturing “normal” sex and hardcore porn scenes, especially if you have no experience with real girls. You can easily escalate to something stronger without realizing it.

For you to understand this, let me tell you I have two friends that have been literally with hundreds of girls. They don’t know each other. But both have told me (to my surprise) they don’t like anal sex, and they don’t think too much about things like “coming on the girl’s face” that seem so normal to porn addicts. Why? Because their arousal is reinforced by real girls moving naked, not by a bunch of pixels. So if they have to imagine “normal sex” there’s a bunch of things that wouldn’t cross their minds.

Back to recovering with your girlfriend, if you are completely impotent, there is a “technique” that will help you recover faster. We’ll see it soon, but first I’ll explain the recovery process.

What Will Happen When You Quit PMO

Let’s see what happens when you stop watching porn based on the scientific principles plus what men report. Then we’ll see how to get there too.

Let’s start with the positive, because it is not only good, but crucial to your life as a man:

  • You return to having solid and lasting erections.
  • Real girls motivate you and get you horny again, your libido returns.
  • Your morning wood returns.
  • Day-to-day pleasures are stimulating again, including interaction with other people.
  • You find more motivation to study, work, keep your health, etc. You can concentrate much more energy in getting what you want. You recover your ability to improve for the future.
  • Your rebalanced frontal lobe makes you recover planning and judgment capacity, so you can make better decisions, both for the long term and upon unexpected events.
  • As you begin to feel your natural stimuli once forgotten, your self-esteem boosts, and your social anxiety fades away.

These are NOT random cheap self-improvement statements. They are real consequences to reversing the physical changes in the brain.

But if you’re addicted to porn, recovery will not be a bed of roses. Quitting an addiction has negative consequences…

Long Term Negative Consequences of Quitting Online Porn

Nothing 🙂

Short Term Negative Consequences (Until You Recover)

Note that if you’ve reached the addiction line, the brain circuitry that regulates dopamine and your pursuit of happiness is disrupted.

An abnormally large part of your brain is devoted to keep watching porn. We could almost say it is the main source of pleasure (the highest high) when compared to other natural rewards.

[Drawing reinforcement porn pathway and decreased the rest]

Up until now, you routinely watched online porn. This would give constant pleasure and despite all its negatives, it kept you more or less motivated:

control dopamine levels

If all of the sudden you stop watching porn now, other sources of dopamine in your life (girls, hanging out with friends, sports, etc.) are numb. There is nothing in your life that gives you that much pleasure.

low dopamine level

So it is normal to feel unhappy, unmotivated, not knowing what to do, bored…

However the online porn stills gives you that rush if you use it. For instance if your use includes edging for extended periods of time, you get a very high rush for an abnormal time that’s not easy to reject. There’s where anxiety and withdrawal symptoms appear.

And you have to be extra alert, because remember we are hypersensitive to the cues that lead to porn (a girl in a tight tank top on TV, a girl down the street, being alone with the computer…) and we still have less willpower (front lobe) to say stop.

But you can. Always think of the better life that awaits you at the other side.

Let’s list the negative symptoms (withdrawal) men reporting during recovery. You don’t have to experience all of them. It depends of how conditioned you’ve been by porn and the habits you commit to adopt for your recovery and your new life (i.e. solitary and passive vs. social and active).

    • Porn cravings. The main consequence of withdrawal is the temptation to relapse. We won’t know very well why but in some situations we’ll think that porn is the solution, or that “just once is no big deal.” Or we will try to make a pact with ourselves: “Okay, once just this one time and I’ll stop, I just want to finish with a good one before quitting.“ But if we calm that anxiety with more porn, then reason will regain its place in our mind and we’ll feel very Furthermore, giving you permission to relapse makes way easier to repeat it, as you’ll learn now.
    • Sad thoughts like “I’ll never… again“. It is very common to rationalize the cravings with these ideas, even to the point of getting angry or depressed. A rationalization is a seemingly logical reasoning that our conscious brain builds to justify emotional and illogical behavior. For example, you know that when you recover you will regain your feeling and sensitivity. But your limbic system (irrational) is used to the stimulus of online porn, so you tend to rationalize the cravings with ideas that your life sucks or that nothing gives you as much pleasure as porn. But allowing those thoughts make you are much more likely to relapse into PMO. This is very screwed up because a conscious thought is very difficult to unmask if you’re not attentive. A good way to let conscious thoughts go away is meditation, but I don’t want to oversaturate my message even more, I just wanted you know it just in case you need it. So remember this. Remember that you will recover and that reasons pro-PMO are rationalizations of the addiction, not logic which helps you recover.
    • Transitory Depression. Some men report moderate depression which can go take from several weeks to a few months. It can come and go during the recovery too. In my case I think I haven’t had “depression” but some days my motivation has been below zero.
    • Flatline. If you’re a flatliner like I am, you’ll lose your libido for an undetermined period of time, everything will be boring, nothing will motivate you, not even girls. Its duration can vary from man to man, and it can also come and go. I see a girl I objectively know she’s very pretty, but I don’t care. The flatline is coupled to some a kind of apathy, indifference and mental confusion. I feel like a zombie dragging myself around to places. I don’t think it’s depression, I’m not sad, but it can scare if you don’t know what’s going on.

flatline monitor

  • Shrunk Penis. This effect is unpleasant because it is as it sounds. This has been reported by many men, myself included. It’s temporary. But not psychological. You really feel how your penis has a smaller size because of not using it. You feel like it’s half dead. But again, it is transitory.
  • Chaser. Intense cravings up until a few days after your last orgasm is commonly called a chaser or effect chaser. Most guys ignore it but it’s extremely important. When you see their tracking spreadsheets (more on that later) it’s clear that they relapse because of ignoring this simple fact. If you are trying to quit porn but masturbate once for some reason, your brain is revved up. After many days with no porn, you have an orgasm and your reward system is reactivated like crazy for online porn. This means that during the next 2 to 5 days you have to be extra-careful not to relapse. Whether your first orgasm is the result of masturbation with or without pornography, or even of sex with a girl which would be better, it can trigger your relapse into PMO, so be alert.
  • Nocturnal emissions / wet dreams: this is not “bad”. I include it here because it can be a bit unpleasant. Your body expels the accumulated semen randomly during some nights. Don’t expect it, but if it happens it’s just a symptom that everything’s right and you’re recovering.

As you see, these symptoms are very cool (thanks, porn). I have experienced most of them during my first streak, and now I’ve started again.

Now, the big question :

How Long Will It Take to Rebalance My Brain and Get My Erection Back?

The answer is that there is no fixed answer. It depends on each case.

Some men recover erections in a few weeks, but there are others who taken two years (although taking so long is not common).

In order to have a reference (NOT an exact date) as explained by Gary Wilson:

  • An older man who has had a normal sex life but has been using too much porn for the last few years ~ 2 months. His recovery is stable.
  • A young guy who has consumed high-speed internet porn since adolescence and his PMO/real-sex ratio is high (too much porn, too little real sex) ~ 9 months. Once he gets his erection back, he remains unstable for months while he still perceives a lot of improvements in libido, mood, motivation, etc.

The adult man takes less time to recover because his brain hasn’t been so conditioned by too much porn since he was young, while the boy was adapted to porn during adolescence, when we all learn what is sex (at the peak of neuroplasticity and dopamine production).

pied trend younger older guys

I repeat: this is just a reference for you to have, not a specific date you can base any goal on.

I thought I wasn’t very conditioned by porn. I thought I would be completely cured after three months. I was wrong.

You can take more or less than these examples. As well as the short-term negative symptoms of quitting porn, the time it will take for you to recover will depend on:

  • Your brain conditioning. The earlier in life you have conditioned your limbic system to the idea that “sex is me with a computer screen instead of real girl“, the longer it’ll take to recover.
  • Your life during recovery. Start with a vision of the life you want to achieve. Watching too much porn has kept you from achieving something greater and being a better person, that’s for sure because it consumes so much time that you could have used to more productive things. So now, the more you socialize, meet girls, play sports, eat well, take up again activities like playing an instrument, writing, drawing, etc. the sooner you’ll recover because your brain will recover its balance faster.

Also, remember that there are always exceptions in all groups.

And no matter how long it takes, remember you are going to recover.

The brain is malleable. If it weren’t, you wouldn’t have learned to read these words. So if you take more than you expect just don’t give up, be glad you’re closer. It’s only a matter of time and you being disciplined enough not to fall.

Don’t obsess with a date. Be patient and disciplined, and do whatever it takes to recover.

Nonlinear Recovery

It is important for you to know that the recovery will not be linear.

I mean you won’t notice improvements every day other than satisfaction from knowing you’re doing the right thing. Your penis won’t get today one millimeter more erect than it did yesterday. Since we’re talking about brain changes, ups and downs are to be expected. You’ll notice some of the negative consequences we have seen during the first weeks or months.

Your erection maybe isn’t there yet after a turbulent period. Suddenly one day, you start getting morning erections, although it still doesn’t get up for real girls.

Another day, you’re eager to have sex. Another day you lose the cravings. You start to see girls in a different, more attractive light. One day you get an erection just thinking about a girl…

That’s just a mix of an example based on what many men report. For example, this guy wasn’t cured until 5 months in, but at month 4 he felt changes in his perception:

porn addiction recovery comments

Others get erections to girls faster, then morning erections, more motivation, etc. arrive in the coming months.

The great Gabe Deem of RebootNation recounts in one of his videos how he recovered erection after 9 months without porn, but then kept noticing improvements in other areas until two years later.

You can only deeply feel the advantages of recovery are when you’re already “on the other side.” The downside of this is only those who really want to change will take it seriously. I hope since you’re reading this deep into the article that you are in fact determined.

Other men will get progressively worse until they reach a tipping point, like losing erection.

How and When Will You Know You Are Recovered?

Obviously, the biggest step is to regain your strong erections to real girls.

recovery from porn induced ed

When your recovery is advanced, you’ll look back and clearly see what the key moments were.

But of course, if it is not linear, how do you know? If you don’t have a girlfriend to sleep with her and cannot masturbate, how do you know? Here is a list of indicators that you are recovered or that it’s very close:

  • You often wake up with morning wood. Sometimes, although rarely, you get erections spontaneously during the day.
  • You want and enjoy socializing, being with people and meet women.
  • You feel pleasure in details and things that you ignored before.
  • You don’t miss porn —and prefer real girls.
  • Normal sex (assuming you have) is much more intense.
  • You can orgasm during real sex (assuming you had erections but couldn’t climax before).
  • Thoughts about girls change (including sexual ones). Many men say they “stop seeing girls as objetcs” but I don’t like that expression at all. Did you really ever see them as objetcs, you crazy? I always knew they were people, lol. Some girls say they “like to be used” and stuff like that, but they don’t seem very mentally stable, really… But I digress. This depends on every man. Broadly speaking, the change means you stop picturing hardcore scenarios and want more “normal” sex. Your strong fetishes and obsession with certain body parts fade away to a certain point, and you start valuing also other things such as her interaction with you, her personality, etc.
  • It takes an ever shorter time to get an erection back after orgasm (that’s the refractory period). This benefit may take more to manifest. It will continue to improve over time if you avoid PMO.
  • You get a solid lasting erection just by touching yourself, with no porn or fantasizing. I put this one in last place because you shouldn’t periodically test since that could slow your recovery. Test only when other symptoms above indicate that recovery is closer.

What’s Next? No Porn Ever?

There are two types of recovery from an addiction. An alcoholic in theory should never taste a sip of alcohol, even if he’s been sober for years. However it seems more believable that a former fat who has been fit and eating well for years, eats an ice cream on a Sunday stroll with his girlfriend, or overeats at Christmas dinner and nothing happens.

In the case of online porn addiction, I personally see the issue more as the latter. Sex is omnipresent. Society is hypersexualized. This is not cheap morality. It is a reality caused by technology, culture, social powers… Sex exists in places where it has never existed before.

A Neanderthal didn’t go fishing and stumbled upon a hot receptive girl along the way. But today we do go to work every day and find some advertising sign where a girl is sensually posing in sexy lingerie. For your (untrained) limbic system there’s no difference.

We need to answer the initial question from a different perspective.

Abandon for a moment your current mindset where porn is super-important, and try to get into the mind of a healthy man who is calm, fun, has friends, has a great girlfriend… Or think about a point in your past when you were not obsessed with porn. Even if it’s difficult (or downright impossible) to make that mental leap, you have to understand that porn is not necessary to live extremely f* well. Plus you’ll give “natural sex” the place it deserves in your life. It is the best reward.

This is not about getting “the consolation prize with no porn” so we can be 9.9 happy. You’re going to literally rebalance your brain so you don’t need it anymore and can be 10.0 happy.

So let’s see the different strategies and tricks to get you to “the other side”. I will also give you my personal strategy, which currently is working (105 days in as of writing this).

Strategies to Avoid Online Porn and Regain Erection Faster

First of all, I want to emphasize one thing.

The only variable involved in porn induced impotence, the addiction, delayed ejaculation, etc. is the huge amount of porn offered by high speed internet.

But that does NOT mean that if we quit porn, we can dedicate our time to look at pics of sexy girls on Instagram and Pinterest, watch tons of music videos on YouTube (half of them have half-naked babes), chat with guys disguised as girls who want erotic stories, or even adult webcam sites because it’s “more like real sex”.

These are all artificial stimulation.

Rebalancing your brain relies on getting excited with natural stimulus.

Therefore recovery is not done by quitting the porn and replacing it with something else.

Recovery is done by quitting porn and getting positive stimuli in our lives. Socializing, meeting girls, touching, hugging, kissing if we’re intimate with someone, taking up a creative activity, exercising, etc. But mostly, quitting porn and any other artificial stimulus.

In addition, replacing porn with other stuff like sexy profiles makes it much easier to relapse.

Do you know how my 3+ months streak ended? I followed someone on Instagram who posted pics of sexy girls. I didn’t pay much attention to it, but one day he posted a normal picture of a sexy model that shocked me. That evening or the next day I masturbated. He could have done it and not repeat after that, but I wasn’t sufficiently alert and almost without noticing I relapsed into the habit (remember the chaser?).

Strategies

Every time a guy relapses, it can be for two reasons: he didn’t take it seriously enough or he doesn’t have a good strategy.

goal setting strategy

I’ll suppose you take it seriously enough.

So I see two strategies to address recover: radical and progressive.

Radical mode is abruptly quitting PMO. You have masturbated frequently to porn up until now, then from tomorrow on, nothing.

Progressive mode is slowly making the habit fade away, while progressively increasing your self-discipline to keep you from binging.

Most guys, when they learn what online porn is doing to their lives, often want to quit overnight. I did it that way and it’s possible. However when you read no-fap forums, clearly most guys struggle to reach the target they set.

Many people start with a radical goal of stopping for 90 days, yet many can’t make it for a week.

Some guys stop PMOing abruptly, but set a small goal, like 15 or 30 days. Once achieved that goal, they go for a larger one. And gradually set up bigger challenges. That’s a good approach, however if you want to do it this way, consider a VERY important nuance: do not view PMO as a reward after each little challenge.

That is, don’t think: “ok, I’ll make 20 days not masturbating to porn, then I’ll reward myself with it and I set my next goal“. That’s better than nothing, obviously… But you’d be using porn as a reward of trying to quit porn! It is precisely the cause of the problem!

Reward yourself, of course, but with something positive. Not porn!

It’s like people losing weight with a low calorie diet that includes food that mixes fat, sugars / carbohydrates and salt in small quantity. It’s better than nothing, obviously… When the diet ends they’ve lost fat, but haven’t lost the addiction to that food. Getting fat again becomes extremely easy. It is much better to start focusing on not eating that addictive food and then, once you’re no longer an addict, enter a low calorie diet if you still need it. I assure you I know this from experience!

Remember that the goal is reaching a point where you really don’t feel a desire to consume online porn. Literally. Just don’t feel it, because the brain gets rebalanced.

If you reward your progress with porn you’re only extending the problem. I know it’s the last thing you want to hear, but I’m not selling you any feel good theory. I’m telling you what you have to do to heal, so that you can actually feel good.

Progressive No-PMO

If you try to suddenly stop PMO with everything you are learning here but constantly relapse after a few days, I recommend you approach this gradually.

I can’t actually “recommend it”, but again, the goal is to reach a point where PMO’ing doesn’t cloud your thoughts so you start being less influenced by it and can take greater challenges.

Progressive mode is to really continue the pace at which you PMO now. E.g. twice a day. Don’t overthink it, even though you know it’s wrong, keep on. Next week you’ll lower your current pace to once a day, or still 2 times a day but fewer days a week. Then next week decrease a little more, and so on.

The goal here isn’t to control fapping, but to control binging and chasers.

It doesn’t matter how much you lower your PMO every week. What’s more important is setting a goal that is not difficult for you to accomplish.

In a few weeks you’ll be progressively out of the PMO habit, which is what truly matters.

Our habits determine our future, like if you have the habit of eating right and exercising, you’ll be in shape —I know, not magic.

We usually try to drastically quit PMOing because we (rightly so) get angry at what porn is doing to our brains and bodies. Also to show we are macho and have power over our life decisions, to try and recover faster, because of remorse for watching porn… for many reasons.

But what really is macho is being smart, knowing your body and the easiest way to achieve your goal.

Because how can you quit online porn before? By failing 20 times in six months, or by gradually removing it from your life and embracing a new habit until there’s no trace of it?

Also if you quit progressively, you’ll reach a point where you’re so mad at masturbating you won’t want to force you to do it, and will try to set bigger goals for next week.

So if you can, try to quit radically. I did it and didn’t find too many problems.

But you have to look at yourself from “outside”, as a monkey in an experiment, (a little how our limbic system works). Without training the monkey, it beats the crap out of your rational, logical brain.

If that monkey doesn’t learn to avoid PMO, you must gradually teach him until he does.

I Have A Girlfriend, No-PMO?

If you have a good girlfriend, you have a privileged position to quit porn addiction and regain your erection.

However, especially at the beginning of the recovery it’s beneficial and recommended to avoid orgasm.

If you have a partner I recommend you (of course, first, tell her your problem) practice coitus reservatus or karezza. Basically this means having slow, gentle intercourse, without orgasm —nor trying to get close to it.

People who practice karezza reports much faster recoveries plus it creates a great emotional and sexual connection with your partner.

And above all, by having this kind of sex with your partner, you don’t have the pressure of getting it up and your brain will “remember” that for which it is designed much earlier.

Countering PMO Cravings

If you stop watching porn and masturbating all of the sudden, it is normal (especially the first weeks) that you have overwhelming cravings.

You may not notice this the first week because the anger against porn makes you easily overcome those cravings.

But it is very easy later on to forget the anti-PMO emotional burst and want to “take a peek” again. Contrary to what you may think, because of the experiences of many men, myself included, I think the hardest times are when you’re a few weeks in, because you expect it least.

You are more alert on the 10th day of your recovery, that on day 57, where it seems you have everything under control so you can relax.

But as I said, people fail for lack of seriousness or a good strategy. So let’s continue with the strategy.

If you feel a strong sexual desire and stimulation in the genital area, this page details a few ways to make it go away. I will mention the ones I have tried (but I’m no expert):

With “mental anchor” I mean associating the getting out of the cravings with a gesture. For example I get up if I’m sitting or I clap my hands loudly (not recommended in public, lol).

The items above are basically techniques to control your breathing and your emotional state in case the porn cravings come strong.

I do not know if they’re just a placebo, but the fact is they get you out of the irrational state where you crave PMO.

The techniques themselves are not as important as doing something. Now as I write this I just took a break. I’ve been sitting for hours, I’m home alone, it’s dark outside and a nice warm light surrounds me. I’m on day 46 yet I was looking forward to “something” (going on Instagram to see photos of hot chicks).

“Something”, whether leads me or not to jerking off, is going to harm me in the long term. So I got up and I did the sixth Tibetan ritual. The change in breathing and muscle tension gives me strength and makes me forget about “something”.

Negative Reinforcements

Some guys cut the cravings more radically, with negative reinforcements. A very popular method is cold showers. I have the habit of finishing the showers with cool water, but don’t get that far.

Also it’s not the same to take a cold shower in Alaska than in California.

The idea is to have something slightly unpleasant, like a cold shower or wearing a rubber band on your wrist and snapping if you try watching porn.

I don’t usually need those negative reinforcements. But they can be useful because your limbic system will associate before porn = bad. If you want to use them, I advise you to do it proportionally.

I mean, don’t overuse this. Focus on the positive, and if you have to “punish” yourself do it according to the “failure”. It’s not the same to get a little triggered because you’re walking down the street and suddenly you spot a really hot girl than to going on youporn on purpose.

Here’s another way to kill the addiction from its roots:

The Substitute Activity

You’ll see that every guy that successfully recovers has made a positive change in his life. Whether it’s love of a great girlfriend, a career improvement, health improvement, you name it.

Recovery isn’t just not to PMO, recovery is changing PMO for something that matters.

First off, spend a few days writing down the moment you feel the urges, focusing on all these 5 elements:

  1. Location
  2. Time
  3. Emotional state
  4. Other people?
  5. Immediately preceding action

For instance: “Today I want to PMO and I’m home (location) alone (other people?), I’m a bit depressed (emotional state), I just ate a snack (preceding action) and it’s 4 p.m. (time).

After a few days you’ll start seeing a pattern. For instance: “I always feel the urges right after waking up still on bed” or “always in the evenings if bored and home alone“.

That is your cue to PMO.

Now that you isolated the cue, choose one replacement activity for any time that you feel the cue, that provides a similar reward.

no-pmo cue habit reward cycle

For instance if you PMO just out of boredom, do something fun! If you PMO because of loneliness, do something social!

If you’re PMO every day during the two hours you’re home alone, bored, spend that time learning a musical instrument, going outside to play sports or for a drink (better with a friend, even better with a few friends, and best with girls).

If you’re a heavy porn user as I am was, I bet you remember having spent one day out with friends and not even thinking about watching porn.

You may have to experiment with a few activities until you find one that provides you with the a good reward instead of PMO.

This powerful idea is explained and justified in detail in the great book The Power of Habit that I encourage you to read.

You don’t have to be out every day, especially if your social life now is nonexistent (something you ought to change), but you should plan your activities for a better use of your time, socializing and avoid the temptation of PMO.

I recommend choosing only one or two activities because it’s a thousand times better to focus on just one thing, so you don’t have to think “I want to PMO… wait… what do I do instead?”

Pornography is a huge waste of time. You aren’t picking up girls or having sex with them, just fapping to videos on a screen, and you can dedicate that huge amount of time to many more productive things —even picking up girls.

Had I spent every hour of every year I’ve seen porn to something productive, now I would be richer, or would play an instrument, or I would be a beast at some activity, or simply I would have slept with many more great girls.

Avoiding Triggers

Recently a guy told me on the nofap forum, that he had gone to the bathroom at work to masturbate to a porn video on his phone.

Now, you can think he’s a fool for doing something so “forbidden” if you’re trying to quit PMO. But this is actually a typical situation in which you know you shouldn’t, yet the cravings are more intense and you don’t have enough self-discipline developed yet. And then you feel like crap.

What this guy has a bad strategy. First, he was several weeks in “hard mode” like most guys, relapsing time after time. Second, he didn’t do something as simple as avoiding as many cues as possible.

Restricting non-safe results is very simple. First off, enable Google’s safe search if you haven’t in order to avoid a first layer of explicit search results.

Then, install a browser extension for parental control like k9 or one to block sites and keep you focused.

A quick Google search solves your particular needs. I have installed the StayFocusd Chrome extension and the Block site extension for Chrome and Firefox because I need to use the browser, but it lets me add a list of websites:

block porn tubesAnd it redirects me to this page if I try to access any of those sites:

porn site blocked

It is a little different for smartphones, but also pretty easy to block the dangerous sites on both iOS and Android.

Of course, this is not magic. I call these blockers a “reminder” because since you’re the one who controls them, you can disable them too, unless you give its control to someone else —which isn’t a bad idea if you can. It is as easy to block as it is to unblock, but finding this reminder and having to uninstall everything to access a dirty site makes you think it twice —which is the hardest part of recovery.

In short, avoid any possibility of relapsing from your environment.

Delete your porn collection (uff, I know it hurts), delete your profiles on porn sites, uninstall unblocked browsers, throw away magazines with sexy girls, forget about social networking for a while. Everything you can think of.

Not necessarily for life, just until your limbic system isn’t so obsessed with porn.

Habit Tracking

The days pass, the initial jolt of excitement decays… You gradually come back to your old habits of being alone, peeking Instagram just for 10 minutes…

Habits and small decisions of every day form our future. You don’t want to look back and see that this small decision threw it all away.

How can you avoid it? These tools will help you gain much-needed awareness about your own behavior.

First

Install an habit-tracking app on your smartphone. I use HabitBull for Android. I also know of Habit Streak, but haven’t used it. I think a recommended one for iOS is Goal Streaks. RescueTime is a tracker of your activity on the Internet (including smartphones). A multi-platform app that I love (although it’s not habit-oriented but goal-oriented) is Todoist. You can use it to set goals like “jogging” or “playing an instrument” as a replacement for the time you dedicated to online porn. It will also help you improve other areas of your life with the unbelievable power of planning and tracking made extremely easy and convenient.

Second

Configure the application with the habits you want to destroy and those you want to adopt:

no-pmo streak app

For example if you shouldn’t stay more than 10 minutes alone in your room, add the task “don’t be alone more than 10 minutes“. If you want to socialize more, add “Talking to a friend” or “Meeting someone new.”

If you are gradually quitting PMO, update each task weekly to adapt to your progress. For example, this week, PMO 7 times/week; the following week 6 times, and so on.

Fulfill Your Habits

Mark the tasks daily with a Yes or No (e.g. No-PMO) or a number (e.g. running 5 km). You can complete them daily, a number of times per week, etc. depending on your settings.

no-pmo habit streak

It may seem stupid and useless if you’re not used to it, but it having a clear monitoring of what you do and where you need to improve, demolishes all excuses and makes your goals much easier to achieve.

You can also use a paper or Excel spreadsheet. The first time I tried it with a Google Spreadsheet, but it wasn’t as useful and convenient. Plus most good apps allow exporting to csv format if you want to.

Habit tracking is key for me.

Affirmations

Tracking was 100% woo-woo, this is 200% freak. But THIS WORKS.

Affirmations are positive, specific, present tense statements that allow you to engage the subconscious part of your brain, the part that is out of control and makes us PMO.

For instance, “I’ won’t masturbate more” is negative, future and not very specific. That won’t work because the subconscious part of the brain understands present, concrete messages.

I have absolute control over my urges” or “I’m working on this report for the next hour” (instead of PMO) are positive, specific and present tense. Keep them short and powerful.

There are two types of affirmations:

  1. General affirmations, that you say once or twice a day, about the change you want to make.
  2. Specific affirmations, that you repeat at specific times when you need a boost of self-discipline. For me, these are the powerful ones that everybody can benefit from.

In theory, repeating the General affirmations slowly shape your beliefs when the brain is most receptive. You repeat with emotion, out loud, with your whole body (if possible) every morning after waking up and just before bedtime. The most important are the morning ones, since they prepare you for the day.

If you want to use these type of affirmations, you can start with this structure I learned from a doctor and then make adjustments if you need:

  1. Change is a personal choice and I need to change [what you need to change]
  2. Change is possible and I can change [what you need to change]
  3. Change pays off and I am rewarded with [your amazing life after change]

Repeat these statements with real enthusiasm and excitement, energy, making a fist, imagining the life that awaits you.

Once completed, mark it on your habit-tracking app that you have already installed. 🙂

However, specific affirmations are the most powerful for me.

Imagine you’re home alone, the moment you always PMO is coming, and you’ve decided you’re going to learn to play the guitar as a substitute activity. Great! But now the time is coming, and the urges are killing you… “OMG just a quick peek at those boobies…” What do you do?

You say to yourself, out loud: “Now I am playing the guitar” for as many times as you need to.

Your body will start wanting to play the guitar, instead of doing X. Try it.

You have to understand that your subconscious mind (and mine) is similar in many ways to that of a dog, monkey or little child. “He” can’t remember. It needs a lot of repetition until “he” gets it. That’s why many people say “self-discipline is like a muscle that needs to be developed”.

You can’t just simply learn something as now you’re reading this. That’s a newer part of our brains.

When correcting a PMO-seeking behavior, you’re engaging an older area of the brain. You cannot force it. See it as your inner child, literally imagine “him”. You have to be understanding for “him” to cooperate. Compromise and then offer him a reward after good behavior.

This may seem stupid or crazy. However, those affirmations and that self-talk with your inner child are direct connections with your subconscious brain.

Understanding and using that concept alone can change your life.

I highly encourage you to grab Self-Discipline in 10 days — From Thinking to Doing if you want to strengthen this essential skill (I didn’t use the word “essential” lightly).

Visualizing

This has been confirmed to work. It is said that many athletes visualize their actions as part of their training. In addition there have been experiments in which people solved a personal problem or conflict before other people who didn’t visualize.

After many tests for quite a long time, I will tell you the best way to visualize:

  1. First, take your time. Don’t do it half-assedly while the rice is cooking. It doesn’t matter if you are relaxed at home or on the bus. But visualize in a time frame when you will not be bothered and you can get carried away by the thought.
  2. The first part of the visualization is the most It consists in remembering the events that led you to your current situation. E.g. visualize you are alone with your computer, downloading porn, talking about it with others, looking for the name of this actress, masturbating, saying no to going out with your friends, making excuses to approach that girl you like, hiding when you almost get caught, the moment you saw that you can’t get it up… Isn’t it uncomfortable just to read it? Contrary to what is often said about visualizing the life you want, this part is actually the most important to recover! I found it contradictory at first, but has been proven in experiments with people visualizing this vs. the future they want.
  3. The second part consists in visualizing your future life. Imagine yourself fit, hanging out with beautiful girls that like you and you like, enjoying your natural erections (but again, don’t imagine porn scenes!), working focused, earning more money, confident, having a great time with good friends. Visualize concrete situations even though they haven’t happened. As days go by, you’ll begin to feel some emotion arising from it. For example, if you visualize a party, having a great time with friends, meeting people, talking to girls, the feelings are expected to be positive. Let that emotion grow and permeate your existence until you behave more on the new vibe than the old one.

Spend your least 20 minutes visualizing each day. You can do it all-at-once or in many times during the day.

This will also serve to achieve many other things when you recover. Include it in the list of habits of your app and mark each day after completion.

Spreading Yourself Too Thin

It’s hard to stop the PMO-seeking habit and just do that because you’re basically creating empty time. That’s another reason why it’s SO important to develop a positive habit that will drive your life to another level.

If you have porn induced erectile dysfunction, you’re fat, you have money problems/no money, this, and that… and you start on an improvement journey, you will be tempted to change everything at once.

Well, my advice is not to do this. Instead, change one thing at a time.

For example, now I am only focusing on No-PMO and a job-related change.

These two improvements receive my full attention.

Furthermore, if I had to choose one of the two for whatever reason, I would just focus on No-PMO because that one is the most limiting for me as a man and as a person.

For example I’m also eating better and exercising more. But if one day I miss my exercise routine, I don’t care. I want to improve that too, of course, but one thing at a time.

I know from experience (from multiple times actually) that if tried to change 5 Important things at once, I would fail at one of them, I will worry too much about it, get discouraged, and sooner or later come back to the starting point.

The complete change will arrive. Don’t worry. Keep in mind that radical change is just perception. It is meeting a friend a year from now and listen to him saying “wow! You’ve changed!” But from your side, change won’t happen overnight. Do things right, one or two at a time, and you’ll get there sooner.

Summary of Steps

We have seen many things so far, so it is well worth wrapping it up with a summary before the end.

  1. Get rid of any source cues to avoid falling into the trap of online porn time and time again.
  2. If you can’t get rid of some sources of cues-triggers, like maybe the TV or web browser, limit your access as much as you can, for example with a browser extension.
  3. Analyze your current habits as from outside, as if you were someone else. Be honest and critic with the behaviors and things you have to change.
  4. Choose one, at most two, alternative activities to do immediately when you will want to watch online porn.
  5. Install a habit-tracking app in your smartphone and set it up with the habits you want to remove and the ones you will acquire. Start keeping track right away.
  6. Design your affirmations and decide when and for how long you’re going to visualize each day. If you don’t want to do affirmations that’s fine —visualize instead. Add those habits to your habit-tracking app.
  7. Choose the best way for you recover. Radical or progressive No-PMO? What I would do is to try radical and if I fail once, immediately start the progressive approach. If you have a partner start a period of No-PMO —just maybe just once a month or so, but definitely tell her and have sexual contact without orgasm to recover faster.
  8. Work. Resume contact with friends. Have fun. Meet girls. Exercise. Take up again a creative activity.
  9. (Optional – Recommended) Join a Facebook group or forum for men in the same endeavor. Participate in forums (I write a journal) and helping others in articles like this one have been a great game changer because it keeps me accountable. Many times I’ve thought of rlapsing but the idea of letting others down (even if they don’t care) made me stop myself.

And of course, the main factor: forget online porn and any other artificial stimulus. 🙂

You already have everything you need to recover your self-esteem and sexual ability, and above all, your erection. I hope you also have the determination you need to apply all this.

Don’t think 20 times before starting. Do it now and make corrections on the fly!!

Motivation

In one of the great videos from Gary Wilson, he gives us a message that seems very appropriate:

“Being hooked on porn is not a character flaw or a sign of weakness, but evidence of an addiction process at work, which is changing your brain.”

Many people think that the only people who watch porn are some anti-social weird dudes, drooling over any hot babe. They fap while eating fatty snacks with the other hand. They live in darkness. They smell bad and dress worse…

The truth is that is not how it is.

Online porn addicts are normal guys. If you don’t know me and meet me, you won’t imagine I have this problem. I am smart, tall, very friendly and healthy. And yet here I am.

Statistically speaking (and very sadly) if you go out on the street and find 10 guys between 18 and 30 years, you can bet at least a couple of them are addicted to porn.

I know it’s shocking. But it is so. Just look at the statistics shown in this article. And if you’re just reading this out of curiosity and don’t believe this is real, just go visit any of the forums where men congregate to fight this problem.

This is a screenshot of one of the no-fap forums in January 2015:

nofap.org member count jan 2014

32k+ members and growing —hopefully.

Aside from the fact that I’m the king of comedy, let me tell you:

Virtually any man who had been in your place would have been hooked too, simply by having normal sexual motivation taken over by stimulation of online porn.

You should not feel (too) bad. Unfortunately, thousands of men, increasingly, they are escalating to more extreme porn and seeing it as “normal”. It’s even a reason to joke and a “guy thing”. Even younger women are accepting the term “slut” now more than ever —although that’s a topic for another post.

So you may say, “ok women are now open to harder sex”. Yeah but I want to remember that this isn’t an ideological issue. This is a problem of tolerance of the brain. A problem that causes ED and desensitization to great pleasures in life. A problem that grows to a point where your biology simply can’t keep up because reality isn’t enough —if you understand the end of that…

The thing with this problem is that there is not yet a critical mass of men affected by this type of erectile dysfunction as to explode out to the general public.

But this will explode in the coming years. Why I know that?

Obesity is an epidemic because the food industry took cruising speed in the production of high-calorie foods (the other natural reward). This is an equivalent epidemic —of men watching too much high-speed internet porn.

Abundant addictive food: fat. Online porn: young guys with ED.

I’m not a fighter for any pro-man cause. Only pro-human. But I want to help those who like me are suffering the heavy damages of this problem. Come back to the side of sexual health and a fulfilling life. A side maybe you don’t even remember now, but that exists if you want to take the ride back.

We are privileged because we found the right information in time to recover, and to communicate it to the people we care about.

When this problem explodes the general public, we will be firsthand witnesses that this problem has a solution, and we’ll have the wisdom that sex is much more than a handful of tabs in your browser.

So I hope this article has been of true help to you.

I will update it with the key points of my progress —now on day 100.

UPDATE: I relapsed after 150+ days and started a much longer streak which gave me spontaneous and morning erections back. My msain takeaway from experience is that the crucial element is changing your habits. In my case, changing my workplace made me socialize much more and urges went down to a fraction (maybe 10%? huge reduction). Even if you have to force yourself out of your comfort zone to change your habits, it will pay off.

If you think something is missing, please leave a comment or drop me an email. In any case, if you learned something important I would appreciate your feedback.

Share

And of course, I’d also appreciate that you shared this article with as many people as you can because you can change the life of that friend of yours who is watching porn right now locked in his room.

To make it easy, you don’t even have to share it from a personal point of view, like “I’m going to use this.” You can share it with an objective comment like “great article” or “wow serious problem looming!” in order to be seen by more people.

In order to thank you for sharing, you can find a PDF version of this post and an updated PMO Spreadsheet in Google and Excel versions for you to track your daily PMO habit easily like this:

no-pmo tracking spreadsheet

The current day is automatically shown in dark blue. The green cells will turn red if you PMO. You can personalize it to fit your habit goals.

Thank you very much!

I wish you much health and happiness, and I hope when you recover you’ll come back here to share your experience!

QUIZ UPDATE: I prepared this short quiz so you can check your knowledge about this much-important issue.

Don’t cheat!

What Did You Learn About Porn‐Induced ED?

Can you solve this short quiz 100% correctly?

Conclusion: The 2-Commandments (Summary of the Summary)

It doesn’t matter if you started watching porn online just for occasional pleasure like most guys, or if you had some deficiency to make up for. Now porn is causing that deficiency in your life.

Your life has changed one way or another. You regularly spend a significant amount of time watching internet porn, rather than devote that time to do something positive.

In other words, porn led you to your current lifestyle. But now, your lifestyle leads you to porn every day. If on top of all, you have erection problems, you’ll take more refuge in porn.

So you have to change your lifestyle. It will not only be very positive. It is crucial.

I want you to go with the key takeaway ideas of this in-depth article, which are:

  1. Plan how to cut all sources of porn and other artificial stimuli.
  2. Execute that plan with discipline, right away, in order to rebalance your brain into the life you really want.

If you need to put all your focus on one single idea, remember this:

There’s no porn in your new life.

So, how are you doing so far? How many times have you tried to quit PMO’ing without success?

Let me know in the comments what you’re going to do NOW to change it!

 

27 thoughts on “Online Porn Will Cause You ED Even If You’re Young —How to Fix It Now

  1. sushant

    Thanks a lot…
    Myself with age 38 married and suffering from PIED since one year.
    I almost hookup with porn for 14 years.
    I have a healthy body. Height-5ft/7inch
    Weight-64 kgs
    Started No PMO from two weeks.
    But taking ayurvedic medicines of errection enhancement to satisfying my wife since one year and it works.Please guide me.
    Thanks and Regards.
    Sushant

    Reply
      1. Tr

        Great article. I don’t know if I can do it. I wish I was dead right now but I’m not. Thank you. Am I safe here can I rest.

        I’m in bad shape

        Reply
        1. Manuel Post author

          Don’t say that, Tr. You can do it. Go get professional medical help for your addiction.

          I am specialized in making guys attractive to women, but you need to have some inner calm first. If you are really having thoughts of death you have to go get therapy now.

          I’m being serious. Those thoughts often go hand-in-hand with shame thoughts. Fuck shame, and get out of the hole.

          Reply
    1. Manuel Post author

      Hey man, it is not that you shouldn’t use Viagra, Cialis, etc.

      What I mean is that ED drugs don’t cure Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction as a long-term “condition” you suffer from. They don’t bring your morning erections back. They don’t let you get naturally aroused. And so on. And in many cases they don’t even help specifically when having sex because Porn-Induced ED is so severe.

      But if they work for you and help you have sex with your girlfriend while doing no-fap, then I don’t see why not. That’s for you and a doctor to decide.

      What I personally would do: I would talk to my girlfriend honestly and not use them because I would risk getting hooked on them and not going through the growth process of getting rid of porn and its effects.

      Reply
  2. Mark

    Went 95 days. Relapsed and the chaser fucked me. My fault though. Hit a PR at the gym and thought… Well why not a little extra celebration? Mistake. December was a write off.

    Day 2. I’ve gone 90+ so I know what I can do. This time it’s final. PMO literally sucks your life force from you. That much I know.

    Pains me to do this all over but those few months of nothing must have helped me recover some what. Going this whole year without now and hopefully by then there will be no habit left and the full year turns into a lifetime.

    So it will be.

    Reply
  3. Craig

    Hi I am not sure if I have PIED I have nave had sex before in my life but I found myself being a compulsive porn addict and masturbating excessively. Earlier some time back I felt I was unable to gain a hard erection but was able to gain one through porn or masturbation. However after a while I wouldn’t say I abstained but I reduced on watching porn and masturbation and found that my erections were back to normal. I then got back into compulsive porn and found that my eerections were harder to gain while fantasizing but with porn I would get one. I wouldn’t say the hardest or how it would be hard like before. I am highly worried I do want to give up porn but will I regain hardness and morning wood. I don’t think I have any underlying health issues but I do think porn plays the role..Please advise. I’m about to get married will I not be able to have sex.

    Reply
    1. Manuel Post author

      Hey man, yes you will regain your erection, but it will probably take a few months of complete abstinence. For some guys it just takes a few weeks, I’m just guessing based on what you told me. If you feel you are under pressure, maybe actually going to a doctor and explaining the situation will put you in a more determined mindset, as if you are truly committed to quit porn.

      Also in a more general (but equally effective) note, I would recommend you join daily group activities that represent a very different “energy” so-to-speak, such as joining a sports club, a soccer team, going to music classes, etc. I know this sounds too general to many people (it did to me) but lately I’ve been experimenting with radically different activities (such as joining acting classes, going on a random unexpected trip, deciding *not* to go to another trip, etc.) and the gain I’ve experienced (for other goals of mine) has been great so far –even though at first it seems there is no connection to it.)

      Reply
  4. H

    Hi Manuel,
    Well I am girl.. thats why i pressed no thanks I am gay to decline your newsletter 🙂
    My problem is that my husband cant get it up. We have been married for a couple of months.. things were good in the honeymoon (ah we abstained from sex prior to marria) but as soon as we got home 10 days later he would not be able to have an erection everytime we tried.. our sexual encounters became less frequent then more n more rare despite me asking and initiatig, till he eventually stopped trying. He kept using the excuse that was not in the mood and had been busy and exhausted.

    He did tell me about his porn use a few months before the wedding and we agreed he would stop consuming as we both thought it was morally unacceptable and bad for relationships.

    Reading your post i really think this is what my husband has since he is relatively young (38) and healthy.

    I dont know how honest he is about having quitted PMOing since its now been more than 6 months hat he should have been off it and no erection at all except when he manually stimulates himself (then ejaculates without penetration)

    He says i am the love of his life and that he finds me very attractive.. (both i was starting to have trouble believing). I love him too very much and cant iamagine leaving him but also cant have this asexual marriage

    Even though your article gave me alot of hope I dont know how to tackle this with him. when i talk to him about our sexual troubles he sometimes says we just need time, sometimes is apologetic. once said he thinks maybe the previous porn use is the reason and somestimes says he has no idea what is wrong.

    I woud really want to help him get fixed and have a happy satisfying life with him..

    Can really use your advice
    Longing
    H.

    Reply
    1. Manuel Post author

      Hi H, thanks for your comment. I wish the best outcome for this situation you find yourself in. Obviously it is actually a question about how to handle problems in a marriage more than Erectile Dysfunction as is –since we are not speaking directly with him.

      It is normal to need a few months to recover from Porn-Induced ED; however if he gets close to a year off porn and there are no signs of recovery at all, then in my personal experience there is something weird going on.

      Maybe he actually has a medically diagnosable erectile dysfunction problem (i.e. he actually needs medication –which would be weird but possible) or… maybe he didn’t actually quit porn in the first place…

      I emphasize that I am just throwing numbers based on my experience and those should not be taken as fact for a specific situation. But they should probably give you a good estimate to know what you are dealing with.

      On a more general note (keep in mind I don’t know his personality) I would also add that if he’s embarrassed about it or on the other hand, he has a firm intention to solve this issue and almost seems excited about it and grateful for your support, then you’re probably fine and it’s just a matter of time… But if he’s kind of avoiding the issue, avoiding talking about it, etc. then I would worry because there is some inner mental or emotional resistance or block he’s not facing (addiction, fear, whatever…)

      You need to be honest with yourself about how open is the communication between your husband and you, so you avoid postponing truth and acting on lies.

      Sincerely hope this helps and everything goes well 😉

      Reply
  5. Liam

    Wow what a good article really hoping it helps me. I’ve already tried quitting PMO a lot of times but I just can’t seem to get it and can tell my girlfriend is annoyed. Just need to stop with those easier triggers.

    Reply
    1. Manuel Post author

      Yes! I can tell from experience. You could also check many forums and videos of people recovering. You just need to fully commit to it.

      Reply
  6. Bobi

    When you say avoid all sexy pictures on instagram ,you mean just during reboot or forever?
    Sorry for my english its not my nation laguage

    Reply
    1. Manuel Post author

      Especially during reboot. After you feel your health has improved, you yourself will choose whether they deserve your attention or not.
      You have to understand, once you get rid of porn addiction, etc. you will feel and think differently.

      Reply
  7. Tom

    Hi Manuel, I am a 18 year old and I have watched increasingly hard core porn from about 13 years old. I have not had sex yet, I have been with different girls but could never achieve real hard on’s and the more I worried about it the harder it was to even get it up until now I’m at the point where I can’t even get hard with a girl because I am to focused on it. I have quit porn for 2 months now but still masturbate occasionally without porn just fantasizing and very soft core. Is that okay? What’s your advice for me? I am not seeing any progress and my anxiety is just making me more and more depressed

    Reply
    1. Manuel Post author

      First, “masturbate occasionally” is too general. I don’t need to know how regularly you’re doing it, but you need to know.
      They say it’s not that bad to masturbate to inner fantasies, but if you’re struggling I wouldn’t do it for a while.
      If you’re not seeing any progress it’s just because you still need a bit more time. But everybody can recover. You just have to keep up the good work.
      Now, your homework (this is not some vague recommendation, I have done that):
      Write 10 activities you are doing right away to improve your recovery speed, like blocking your browsers from porn, writing a daily journal about your recovery, getting an accountability partner (at least online), etc. You can read this post for more info.
      Set a deadline to finish those activities in 3, except the ones that should be done daily, like going to the gym and talking to your accountability partner.
      Overcoming PIED is not hard, you just have to take it seriously. I have more advice but you first have to master the basics.
      Don’t be lazy and you’ll feel powerful again.

      Reply
  8. Michael gamez

    Manuel, I have had sex and sexual related activity since I was 16. I started watching porn on the internet since I was around 11. Last year in November had a scare where I couldn’t get it up with my girl (been with her for 6 years). I thought mmm why am I taking longer to get erect. And boom went from last week having sex 5 times a day to no erection. I completely freaked the fuck out. I stopped porn about 2 months ago, but still masturbate since I still managed to get erect if I play with my penis. I don’t get morning wood though anymore maybe rarely a nd the erection quality isn’t as good, but now I have sex with my girl BUT it takes me a while to get in the zone if you know what i mean. I get like anxious thinking what if my dick doesn’t get rock hard.. I usually have extremely good sex if we hit up a hotel though, but shitty sex in my room(live w parents) or inside a car. I’m not sure if my problem is PIED. Whenever i do have sex, I fuck about 2-3times and the next day I get some form of morning wood, not 100% but it’s good. Also I feel SUPER depressed, and I have sex and bam I feel fucking great for about 2 or 3 days then I start worrying about ED. What do you think is my issue? Also been tracking my test since a year and it tends to be in the low 300s. Like 310. Do you think it’s a test issue? Not sure how this problem came about in literally 5 minutes. One day everything was good, then suddenly i thought why my dick was taking longer than usual to get hard and bam I’m fucked with no morning wood, depression, anxiety, ed thoughts.

    Thank you!!

    Reply
    1. Manuel Post author

      I think it’s PIED because it’s a similar story to what happened to me and many other guys. Obviously a doctor would know better but it seems to me it’s porn-induced ED. Even if it appeared out-of-the-blue. Don’t freak out and completely stop watching P, sexy pics, etc.
      Sorry, I don’t know what you mean about the test.

      Reply
  9. Rajan

    Hello…the thing is i am not getting erections since few days.I was addicted to porn for about 7 years but few days back my penis hurt during masturbating and i am not getting any erections till now(However there is a soft morning erection so i am confused about ED).I dont feel any sexual desire or craving for porn may be due to my depressed brain or whatever the case.My penis is shrinked but there is no pain now.I am very worried ..even much when i saw articles about ED.I am feeling very depressed.
    Please tell is this ED or libido flatline??
    Please provide suggestion what might be the case.
    thank you!!

    Reply
    1. Manuel Post author

      Hey man, if your penis hurts then go to the doctor.
      If you are depressed that is another issue that could affect your performance and libido.
      Everything will be fine, every man can get over PIED eventually, just focus on the positive outcome you want. But if you are having pain or a depression you can’t overcome by yourself, don’t wait and just go to a certified professional, like an MD.

      Reply
  10. Bobi

    Hey man its me again..
    When i text with girls i start feeling erect..should i avoid this during reboot ..it is artificial stimuli or what.thank you man

    Reply
    1. Manuel Post author

      Hey Bobi, I don’t think that is a negative sexual stimuli.
      The bad artificial stimuli is the one that involves tons of visual media (pictures, videos) and/or extreme variations of porn in a short period of time.
      If just fantasizing about what you will do gets you an erection that means your brain is “well-connected” to your penis, in my opinion.
      However, it is true that I would personally try to control that if it is causing you uncomfortable situations.

      Reply

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