How to Attract Women by Being Protective (Behavior 2)

On March 18, 2015, In Guides & How-To's by .

how to attract women

This is the second of a series of posts that covers The Three Behaviors to attract girls:

  1. Behavior 1 —Confidence. The 11 Traits of The Alpha Male.
  2. Behavior 2 —Protection.
  3. Behavior 3 —Making her feel desired. How to Make a Girl Horny.

As part of The Core of Attraction framework to attract women, you know you should be protective, be romantic and take care of a woman to make her attracted to you. Most guys end up friendzoned because they do this too much.

In this post we’ll cover what is Behavior 2 —Protection and exactly when to show it and when not to.

How to Attract Women with a Correct Behavior 2

You are a man who cares for and protects his people. Especially the girls you care about the most.

Behavior 2—Protection boils down to behave with her as a loving father with his daughter does: he cares about, cherishes and protects her in order to make her life easier.

But as you imagine, a father doesn’t do anything her daughter wants. Because he naturally wants to protect her, but she needs to know her boundaries. He doesn’t want to foster a spoiled brat. You don’t want to foster a disrespectful girl.

You correctly show Behavior 2 by doing these things:

  • Non-sexual physical contact. Non-sexual physical contact happens when you touch her, but the focus of the action is not the touching itself. For example if you touch her arm to claim her attention, shake her hand, or even hug her to comfort her, that’s non-sexual because you touch for other purposes. However if you weirdly touch her elbow when there’s no need to, that starts being sexual because you touch her for the sake of touching her. So why is non-sexual touching important? Physical contact creates emotional connection, makes her feel safe and protected and shows you care about her for more than just sex.
  • Listening to her. If she has a problem and she wants to share it with you, the first step is to just listen. Do NOT try to help her right away. I know this is weird. Of course you can offer your help, but just offer. Women communicate differently than men. For women, sharing emotions and feelings is really important. They also need their problems solved. But they also need to empathize and share their feelings.
  • Connecting emotionally. First you listen. Then, do your best to put yourself in her shoes. Understand her feelings. Not only for the fun stuff. Also for the sad stuff.
  • Encouraging if she feels vulnerable. Once you listened to her and understood her, cheer her up. Have you seen movies where the hero tell the afraid girl: “everything will be fine” even though he doesn’t really know? That’s encouraging. If the problem or vulnerability isn’t serious, make a tasteful joke to alleviate the pressure, hug her, make her feel loved. If the problem is more serious, take her out to take her mind off the problem.
  • Helping her solve a problem. That’s the next step after listening. HELP her, don’t solve it yourself. Ask her if she wants your help, unless she is really blocked and you truly care about her.
  • Compliments and approval from your part, when they are sincere.
  • Talking (or hinting) about a future together. Don’t become obsessed with this, you don’t have to tell her how many children you want. Just drop it casually when the conversation goes there, or imply it. But she has to feel you’re not just interested in a quickie and then goodbye.
  • Being a gentleman with her. This implies things like opening doors for her, giving her your seat, being careful with the way you eat or what you talk about when there’s certain people around.
  • Rewarding her good behavior with gifts (an spending money on her, like dates, etc.). Besides the fact that you shouldn’t flood her with gifts (we’ll see that), keep in mind that the gift should be somewhat proportional to the level of intimacy between you two. You don’t have to do math. Just keep some proportionality. The best gifts can but don’t have to be expensive. Gifts must be things she likes. Even better if she has a strong emotional attachment.

Those are the key points to master Behavior 2 —Protection. As you see, they’re pretty easy. The main problem guys have is not that they neglect those. Is that they do them too much!

If you want to attract girls, you have to know how to be romantic with a girl. But you also have to know when not to be romantic.

When and How to Show Behavior 2 —Protection

How to Protect

First, let me remind you of the proportionality of The Three Behaviors. As you hopefully know by know, in order to get a girlfriend you must show The Three Behaviors proportionally to the level of intimacy you’re at.

That means that if you barely know her, you give her the same treatment you give to an old ugly woman. If you don’t, she’s going to perceive the inconsistent behavior. “Why would he do me that favor? Is he interested? But if he’s interested, why doesn’t he show sexual interest?

The ability to protect is part of your personality. You have a base-level protection with most people. A stranger needs your help on the street and you at least listen to what he asks. An acquaintance needs a pat on the back and you do that. Etc.

As your intimacy grows with different people on your life, you develop more willingness to take care of them, help them, etc. Girls of course are included in this.

The difference between girls you want to get and other people, is you are shooting for the highest levels of intimacy. Those take place when you two are a couple.

But the rule to protect is still there. So what is this rule?

When to Protect

Remember the father-daughter analogy. You are kind and protect her unconditionally, but also react to her bad behavior.

In other words, Protection should be done under one condition:

You only give Protection to people who are respectful to you.

If you are giving protection to someone —man or woman— but she does something disrespectful, you temporarily step back and don’t protect that person.

It’s not ignoring that person if they’re disrespectful. It’s just not entering “protection mode”. Keep rocking Behavior 1 —Confidence and that’s it.

Good girls

When a woman hesitates about your value, she’ll test you:

  • “Will you buy me a drink?”
  • “Will you hold my jacket?”
  • “Will you pay for dinner?”

Because needy beta guys, the guys that end up friendzoned, will try to show Behavior 2 to a girl even if she didn’t win it yet. It’s their way of trying to be liked by girls (which just doesn’t work.)

I know a few guys who tell me: “well, that’s just who I am. I’ll wait for a girl who likes me like that.”

That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

Because that is like saying: “I like to put my head between crocodile jaws. I know it’s risky, but I’ll wait for a crocodile who respects me.

head between crocodile jaws

It’s not in her f*ing biology, man. Don’t you get it? You can fight it, but you’ll eventually get hurt.

So if a girl doesn’t even test you, she already has a perception of your value.

Unless your value is high right off the bat (because you’re very tall, buff, handsome, clearly rich, etc.) you’ll have to show her what you’re all about through your conversation and your actions.

I’m not saying “forcing it” into a conversation. You have to follow The Three Behaviors. I mean, showing her when the time is right.

And when a girl instinctively feels that you have enough value for her or more, she will start being a good girl.

Of course 99.9% of women don’t have a clue about all this. This operates subconsciously in the same way you like big boobs subconsciously. You cannot tell her: “ok I’ll get you a drink but I’m very valuable“.

Being a “good girl” by showing respect and desire to please you, that is the key point where you can consider she earns your protection.

Then, you can show Behavior 2 if she needs it. Then, if she’s a bit disrespectful you stop Behavior 2 for a while again. In this case, you would have to step back and be all about your own life first, without especially protecting her.

Eventually she’ll get that you only want respectful, easy-going people in your life. That will become her normal behavior with you.

You may think this is manipulating. But it’s really not. We categorize other people and the first impressions are the strongest. It is like educating a child because the brain functions that control attraction are actually child-like. You can’t talk to them. You have to ignore bad behavior and reward good behavior until they get it.

And if she gets that you are a valuable man, she’ll be attracted to you.

But when exactly is she being a good girl with you?

  • She is thankful to your protection at the previous levels of intimacy with her. Let’s say you help your hot neighbor to take her shopping bags upstairs, that’s protection because you’re taking time out of your life to make her life easier. You won’t keep protecting her if she isn’t thankful. I’m not saying she gives you a BJ right there when you get home, I’m saying she at least she says “thanks” or is friendly and nice to you.
  • She does what you ask her to do and tries to please you.
  • She is comfortable, relaxed and has an according non-verbal language. This includes talking to you spontaneously.
  • She has no problem with telling you her problems and vulnerabilities. HOWEVER! If you feel she starts sucking up too much of your time telling you her problems and she didn’t earned it, you are protecting her “for free” because of need. You should stop her without being rude. Like with a tasteful joke on her extreme chattiness, or just ignore her.
  • She accepts your jokes. I’m talking about tasteful jokes, lightly mocking or teasing. Not disrespectful degradation.
  • She stops her initial disinterested or even rude attitude because she was just testing you.
  • She allows and even fosters non-sexual physical contact.
  • Other signs that she is attracted to you. In other words, if she already shows signs of interest, that counts as being a good girl too.

If she isn’t a good girl, you don’t get angry. You simply give or withhold your protection. She is learning what you’re all about.

That is the control that The Core of Attraction gives you.

But what if…

You now know how to correctly show Behavior 2. But you go out, and you spot that perfect hottie.

Oh yeah, she’s dreamy, gorgeous. Perfect body, she has it all. Plus those… OMG she’s insanely hot. And she’s so friendly!

You are so amazed by her that you start neglecting “the good-girl rule”.

Well. That’s a highway to the friendzone.

You are here because you want to know how to attract women. Right? I’m telling you exactly what you need to do to attract women.

Being romantic is very important, yes. Plus it’s a sign of social intelligence to be protecting and taking care of the people around you. It automatically makes you a leader because others start to depend on you.

However what is not leader-like, is to follow stupid disrespectful people like a puppy because you’re needy.

So why do I remind you of this. Imagine you’re with a 10/10. A stunning girl you can’t get your eyes off of.

—Can you get me a drink? (She asks after 30 minutes of having a blast with you.)

—Sure. I just need a little sugar to get the energy to go to the bar. (You get closer and hint you want a little kiss on the cheek. She gives you the little kiss and you go get a drink.)

Now compare that to:

—Can you get me a drink? (She sees you are looking at her, stops dancing with her friends, approaches you and asks you for a drink.)

—Yeah, of course! What do you want?

In the first example, she’s being a good girl. Plus you playfully make her confirm that she likes you and is investing in being with you. Then you have no problem in showing Behavior 2 and buying her the drink. Plus that will get her a little loose.

In the second one however. She hasn’t earned sh*t. What did she do? In what way did she show interest in your person? She’s seems to be trying to use you.

You see some guys recommend buying girls drinks. Others avoid it. This is one example why by following The Three Behaviors you always know what to do.

➔ Again. Very important. This is not a manipulation thing. Girls like you when they see you don’t take BS from them. Or from anyone else.

And it’s the same with everything we saw. With comforting hugs. With listening to her problems. With gifts and spending money on her. Etc.

Let’s put another example.

You like this hot girl and she’s really sad. Did you just meet? Then a hug is enough. But wait, is she being a good girl? She just mocked you with a disrespectful joke. Then don’t protect her. It’s all about your own life first.

Now, is your girlfriend who is sad? You do much more. In addition to listening and comforting her, you organize something to cheer her up, like going on a date to her favorite place. But wait, did she do something disrespectful to you? Then don’t protect her that much, or even at all. Your own life first.

Wow, really man? She’s my girlfriend. I should protect her even if she’s disrespectful to me.

Well… again. Up to you. I’m showing you how to attract and keep girls. Accepting crap even from her doesn’t cut it.

Wrapping it up

By now you have a complete understanding of Behavior 2. Now you’re able to attract girls by being romantic when you should.

This way you’ll finally avoid the friend-zone forever. Goodbye shittiest place ever!

So, what are you going to correct in your behavior 2? Tell me in the comments below.