UPDATE: this is an old article. It doesn't reflect my current way of thinking (you can read more about it here). But that doesn't mean there is no value in it! It can still be useful to you, like it was helpful to me at some point. Some corrections have been made, but not enough to change its original essence. So, if you find it useful, then use it!
The Argentine Football Association (soccer) aka AFA just released a manual for journalists in preparation for 2018 World Cup in Russia this summer.
The manual is titled Russian Language and Culture, in Spanish.
So what does an AFA manual for journalists have to do on a blog post about dating? Well…
Looking forward to a month well-spent in Russia –a country with an outstanding proportion of the most beautiful women on planet Earth:
… the manual included two pages on, literally: What to do to have an opportunity with a Russian girl. 🤣
The manual leaked out of the course being taught, and it quickly went viral.
The organizers took the manual back to remove those pages, but a few people took pics of them.
El curso fue hoy en la AFA. Tengo el cuaderno. Nos lo sacaron para cortar esa hoja pero yo la guardé cuando supuse lo que harían. pic.twitter.com/gBeG9xWsWZ
— Nacho Catullo (@nachocatullo) 15 de mayo de 2018
The news articles on the manual are being headlined: incredible, embarrassing, shameful, sexist and even misogynistic. Obviously, the headlines are exaggerated for us to click on them. But the angle, bias or simply viewpoint from which those articles are written and titled, is that of: this is outrageous!
In my opinion, the manual doesn’t say anything outrageous, but I’m not saying it is a good “manual” either.
Recommending something like the 4th point (don’t be negative) is not “embarrassing” or “misogynistic”. It is actually very good life advice –not only for dating. 🙂
These pages were actually taken, probably unwittingly, from a harmless blog about Russian culture focusing on dating Russians. I think the organizer just browsed the Internet and copy-pasted a few things hew thought were interesting and appropriate. It’s not even edited from the original.
The problem I see (besides some particular bad advice that I will point out) is with the overall context:
- You can’t (actually you can, but shouldn’t) publish such a “dating” manual in a journalists setting. What if there are journalist women? Are they ignored?
- Building on the previous point: this is not the time to ignore women. This should be by principle, but in this case, they were dealing with the media (journalists!)
- Most of that advice is too general. It is a poor guide on how to attract women. No man is going to learn how to attract women from that alone… I think it would have been much more useful to give particular guidelines actually pertaining to Russian culture. E.g. the manual could actually state that Russian women are much less influenced by western feminism because of their political history and present. I’ve spoken with a few Russian women in very different settings, and they value a man with the traits of a “gentleman” who can support them, much, much more than in western countries.I’ve even heard that “if a man doesn’t pay for dinner, I’m out and he won’t see him again.” Not saying all Russian women. Not even saying “most”. But you find women with that mindset much more commonly.
Lately I’m seeing, more and more, being emotionally against feminism as a reaction of powerlessness with women. If you understand the advice that I give here, you should be able to have happy relationships with women you really like, and a bunch of people you may not agree with on a logical (or ideological) level, should only cause you a relaxed difference of opinion, no more. I think you can see some truth to this. But I’ll dig deeper on this topic on a later article.
But this is a blog about how to attract women, so let‘s take a deeper look at the (translated) manual and I’ll critique each point:
- Russian girls, like any other girl, will pay you more attention if you are clean, smell good and are well dressed. The first impression is very important for them, take care of your own image. TCOA: this is “duh!” obvious. I shouldn’t need to explain this 😄.
- Russian girls don’t like to be seen as objects (TCOA: “duh!” again.) Many men, because Russian women are pretty (yes), only want to take them to the bed (obviously). Maybe she wants to have sex with you, but they are human beings that want to feel important and unique. The advice is to treat the woman in front of you as a valuable woman, with her own ideas and desires. Pay attention to her values and personality. Avoid asking stupid questions about sex. For Russians sex is a private thing and you will not discuss such things in the first time. (Maybe you don’t believe me, but I know some guys that actually do such questions). TCOA: This is good advice and you should follow it not only in Russia –unless the situation is clearly pointing to sex, then don’t ask her about her pet 😂!
- Russian women hate boring men (TCOA: not only Russian women, but all people). If you don’t have topics to talk to her, if you are only thinking what to tell next, then you are not enjoying the moment so you will be disconnected from her. (TCOA: Read my post on how to be able to have interesting conversations for hours) Remember, if you are a foreigner you can tell her about your country, how you live, and the nice things in her country. Remember is very important that you invite her to participate in the chat with your own topics. Try to talk to her in a very honest way.
- Do not be negative. Women avoid people who only sees bad things at work, in relationships, and in life. TCOA: yes, and as I said before, that goes beyond dating. What you focus your thoughts on, will find a way into your life. So… do you want to focus on what is negative? (Tell me if you want me to write more about this.)
- Don’t make the typical questions, be original, usually they like to know about you too, so first of all give info about you. Remember that many of them will not know about your place, so you have an advantage over Russian men. You are new and different. Give her confidence about you. TCOA: I wrote about this idea in more detail on this article on how to talk to women to the point it is she who wants to know you more.
- Russian women like that men take the first steps, so if you are not confident, you need to practice to talk to more women. TCOA: this is true in most cultures. But it may be reinforced in countries from the former USSR for the reasons I shared before.
- Usually they don’t like that you have the monopoly of the conversation. Usually I see this problem with guys who are very selfish and sometimes in guys who are very nervous to talk to a beautiful lady. In both cases you need to change your attitude, but for the insecure guys: relax, it’s just a girl. TCOA: No one wants to talk to a know-it-all. A conversation should be a balance of information, fun, and even energy. I explain this in the posts that I have linked so far in this article on how to talk to women. You should be able to carry the conversation, but if the other person wants to say something… Let them speak!
- Don’t try to impress the girl the wrong way. Maybe you can try to impress her by talking about the money you have, that you know everything, that you are the perfect one and the others are stupid guys. In the end, if the girl has some sense, she will drop you. Be real and talk about you in real terms, talk about your bad things with a sense of humor and your good things.
Last paragraph: Usually Russian women pay attention to important things, but of course you can find girls that only pay attention to material things, money or if you are handsome. I want to tell you, don’t worry about it, there are many beautiful woman in Russia and not all of them are good for you. Be selective. TCOA: this is more of a general advice that the press has taken to pinpoint the outrageousness of the article. 😄
So that’s it guys, this is the huge drama around the AFA manual on attracting and dating Russian women. I just wanted to whip a quick post out while I’m editing the next one, but I have written 1400+ words so far. 🤣
My next post is also getting huge. It will be on the benefits of quitting porn and techniques to stop.
